Back To November

Back To November

I am sure I am not the only one who was looking forward to one more month of reveling in the glory of Barack and Michelle Obama’s beautiful presence in the White House.  But unfortunately The Donald has already infiltrated the presidency and is prematurely ruining ALL THE THINGS, so we had no such glorious final month.  I wish we could go Back To November (like Taylor Swift’s song “Back To December”, shout out, LOVE that song) and make it alright. Change something, do SOMETHING to make the outcome different.  But alas, here we are and here we will stay for at least four years.  

Reading the news about The Donald's "presidential" choices reminds me of group projects in college when we had to hand everything over to the lousy member of the team for a week.  And that person gets to do the presentations and just generally ruin all the work everyone else has done but there is literally nothing you can do but watch them get an F for the whole group.  That is where America is right now.  We get to watch this ignorant egomaniac present America's worst experiment to the world, screw it up, give up, toss it in the trash and go back to his other projects. 

If we could go Back To November, what would you do?  Maybe if we had created small town outreach programs like they do with AIDS education for tribal communities in Africa.  We could have told The Donald's fans how Hitler came to power through hatred of minority groups.  We could show them pictures of what people look like in diverse places such as New York City and ask them if New York appears to be struggling due to all of that diversity.  I mean, I love small towns and I love a lot of white working class people who apparently feel marginalized.  But the fear of immigrants and Muslims that The Donald is selling is not going to make their lives better or America greater. 

We have always been a nation of immigrants.  Around 1830, German immigrants settled in Cincinnati and the neighborhood of Over The Rhine.  The people there had their own newspapers, churches and German cultural centers so that they could maintain a part of their heritage while becoming Americans.   However other residents in Cincinnati were threatened by them, blaming them for any problems that they could.  Immigrants were supposedly taking all the jobs. And since they didn’t speak English fluently they weren’t “becoming American” fast enough for massive groups of “nativists” who tried to literally invade and attack Over The Rhine.  Because of prejudice, minority communities tend to create their own safe spaces and their own cultural identity.  These communities are not dangerous just because they don’t celebrate Holidays the same way you do, or because they speak differently.  They aren’t scary because they have a different skin color or socialize in a way that is unusual to you.  And they definitely aren't taking anything away from us.  Lazy, unimaginative people don’t up and leave their home country for the unknown America ahead of them.  Strong and courageous people do that. Ambitious immigrants are our past, present and future; they are one of the many things that make America great.

What if we could go Back To November and let people know that all those lost manufacturing jobs are NOT COMING BACK to the U.S.?  They just aren’t. And that is ok.  Our economy is strong right now and while the jobs might not be the same as they always were, that is also ok.  IT jobs are booming and all they require is a little training.  Citibank (where I work, please see me if you want a job here, they are offering referral bonuses up to $3000 per person!!) is begging people to come apply.  Seriously begging, there are signs on the highway and everything.  Immigrants haven’t stolen any manufacturing jobs, the jobs have moved overseas, and the only thing that brings them back is giving the companies millions of dollars.  Things change, jobs change, America changes….but it is already great.  

So if you could go Back To November, what would you do?  Maybe instead we should look to what we can do now. Perhaps that group project can be reclaimed from the lousy team member before it is too late. We can continue to fight for justice and against prejudice and never lose sight of the America that Martin Luther King dreamed about.  Instead of back, Let’s "keep moving forward." (We can thank Walt Disney for that much better quote than The Donald's not so great one.)

Black Lives DO Matter

Another day, another divisive issue.  But why do we insist on remaining divided?  When will we start having conversations with people who are different from us so that we can better understand their perspectives?  When will we agree that we can (and most people already do) care about black lives AND care about police lives AND all loves.

If you have black friends that you actually talk to, you will find that many grew up learning to fear police.  Their experiences with law enforcement are different than those of a white person.  How do I know?  I asked them.  I wish we could do more asking and less assuming.  If you think these many violent stories are exaggerated and that racism is all but gone then I challenge you to ASK a black person how they feel about that.

Also ask a woman you love if she has ever felt harassed or assaulted.  Ask an immigrant how they feel about immigration policies and what that process was like for them.  Ask a gay person if they have ever felt uncomfortable showing affection in public or been called names.  Ask a Police Officer about the biggest challenges they face on the job.  

I have heard many make the argument that coverage of police violence towards black people is being pushed to the forefront right now making it seem worse than it is.  And to that I would say “Finally!”  For years these stories have been absent from our media helping white people pretend that the stories don’t exist.  When a black child is shot in a "ghetto" no one hears about it; but a white child shot in the suburbs?  Front page story.  However, because of some higher profile cases this conversation has come to a boiling point so the media is finally shedding some light on the situation.  Our country has created a situation where many black people feel that their lives don’t matter.  That is why “All Lives Matter” is not an answer nor should it even be a thing.  We need to address as a nation why many black citizens feel that their country doesn’t care whether they live or die. 

Some minorities are protesting by kneeling during the National Anthem. Instead of worrying why they felt the need to do so we see outrage. But friends, by your outrageous reaction and attention you are giving that protester what they want. But not what our country needs. We need discussion. 

I do not want to hear anything about what the victims of police violence did or didn’t do to provoke the situation. There can be no “buts” when it comes to someone being killed when they should not have.  There are no “howevers” or excuses.  We need only to be disgusted and then ask ourselves how we can be better as a country.  How do we fix this?  It won’t be easy, but it has to start somewhere.  United we stand, divided we fall.  So let us stop being so divided and start listening to each other.  We must realize that not everyone in this country makes their opinions and decisions based on the same experiences.  So I say to my fellow Americans: tell me your stories, I will listen.

RIP, Harambe

 You know what they say about opinions being like ass holes, everyone has one?  Well if you know me then you figure I have numerous opinions about the Gorilla that was killed at the Cincinnati Zoo a few days ago. But I don’t have numerous ass h…that's a horrible joke.  I love animals, and I love the zoo but I have reservations about animals being confined in small spaces their entire lives.  I like to hope that the positive outweighs the tragic.  I love the zoo’s conservation efforts and the fact that they are so “green.”  They even have adorable messages about keeping sewage "green" in the bathrooms!  Children can be up close with animals at zoos and have the opportunity to ask questions and learn about different species.  Perhaps they can understand from these experiences that animals are not just meat on a plate that came from the grocery.  However zoos don’t give an animal the opportunity to live the way nature intends; and while animals are free from predators in zoos they are often also bored, nervous and confused.  It breaks my heart that as humans we place an animal in an enclosure, then shoot and kill it because a human went into the enclosure we trapped it in. 

 This gorilla issue (like so many in today's hyper socialized world) has become polarizing.  One side vehemently defends the child’s parents arguing that children do crazy things and we can’t prevent all accidents.  This group also argues that human life is more important than any other lives so killing the gorilla was an easy choice.  The extreme other side seems to be arguing that the child should have been watched and that the mother should be held criminally liable for the gorilla’s death.  I fall somewhere in between.  All of the personal attacks against the mother combined with the horror of having to watch your child in a life threatening situation is more punishment than this family should have to endure.  But I don’t empathize with them either. 

 I was at the Cincinnati Zoo on Thursday with my niece (2 yrs) and nephew (5yrs.)  We spent a good amount of time in the Gorilla exhibit because Jack likes to observe their behavior (since it is so much like ours) and ask questions.  He giggled as the “daddy” gorilla took a stick away from one of the babies who was hitting another with it.  And during that whole time in the exhibit there was an adult hand or close eyes on both children at all times.  Why?  Because there is a fence in front of a huge moat that any child, given the time, ability and curiosity, could crawl into.  In my backyard, kids are free to run, in the park, they don’t have to hold my hand and in the zoo walkways, they can skip along as they like.  Could an accident happen in those places? Absolutely.  But in situations where there is a more likely and obvious threat, hands on.  

 Some kids are more mischievous than others, some more curious or hyper and some are simply clumsy.  As parents, aunts, caregivers, grandparents, etc, we know these traits in our kids and we adjust our care accordingly.  Accidents happen, but could this particular accident have been prevented?  Those who are angered by the outcome here feel it probably could have. It was suggested by someone claiming to be an eye witness that the child simply “flopped” over the railing.  There would be no way to flop.  There is a set of railings they would have to climb on top of first, and then they would have to fall down onto the grass area, cross through a fence and then jump into the moat.  A child can run off in a split second, but they simply could not have accomplished all of that in the time it takes to glance away.  

No one intended for this to happen, no one wanted to make that decision to kill a beautiful gorilla, no one wanted to shoot him, no one wanted to take their kid to the hospital after a terrifying experience
and no one should have to “pay.”  But how many times have you witnessed parents who are simply letting society parent for them?  How many times do you see entitled people at the zoo, amusement parks, restaurants and movie theaters who are busy doing anything but holding themselves responsible for their kid’s actions.  I think a lot of people (although unfair) are heaping their frustration over widespread entitlement on this kid’s mom.  Nearly every time I am at the zoo I see a kid banging on the glass enclosures, yelling at the animals, hitting the goats in the petting zoo, pushing kids on the playground, throwing food at the penguins, etc.  Why aren’t these obviously inappropriate behaviors being corrected?  People’s belief that their kids/time/family/weekend/money/zoo-visit is more important than other’s is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Your kid is special yes, but they still have to be taught to follow the rules lest they grow up to be the person who parks in the fire lane at the grocery store.  

 I understand that every situation and every child is different.  I understand that I don’t have children but I still have a right to my opinions about them.  If anything I should be analyzing my experiences and observations of parents around me (good and bad) so that I am better prepared for parenthood when I am finally given that gift. I will never be able to guarantee that my child won’t accidentally end up somewhere they shouldn’t be, no one can.  But we should be doing everything we can to teach our children to be respectful and to set an example of respect for each other, our planet and the
animals who share it with us.  

Guns In Schools

 Ahhh, guns.  One of the most hotly debated topics in Murica.  I am just going to throw this out there – I HATE GUNS.  I hate them, I hate the loud noise they make, I hate the thought of killing anyone or anything with them, I hate the way they look and the fact that the NRA has so much power over our legislature that we can’t get basic background check laws passed even though majority of our country supports them (because the NRA represents gun manufacturers, not gun owners.)  HOWEVER, I respect and love many people in my life who do like guns.  Some of my friends hunt with them.  Some family members feel safer because they have them.  And a few I know are just stocking up ammunition for the zombie apocalypse.  Everyone is different.  But what I wanted to address today is the possibility of arming teachers in schools to protect against violence.  

 I have a sister, cousins, aunts and friends who are teachers. They work hard, they care about their students and they decided to be teachers for a beautiful variety of reasons.  But none of those reasons has anything to do with wanting to protect the students in their classrooms from violence or terrorism.  People join the army to do that.  They enlist in the Marines or join the Police Force if they want to serve and protect.  Someone who feels called to protect the citizens of the United States rarely feels called to teach fifth grade math at the same time.  Kindergarten Cop is not a real thing.  Is that what proponents of guns in classrooms are picturing?  Arnold Schwarzenegger types running through the hallways of the school with a 5 year old in one arm and a machine gun in the other, blasting all the bad guys in a storm of glory?  

 My sister shouldn’t have to go through SWAT training to teach children how to read. She shouldn’t have to worry that she did the wrong thing in a crisis or that she might accidentally shoot a student in the process of trying to defend the classroom.  “Defense of Classroom” is not a class she took in college when she was taking all the required courses to get her Master’s Degree in Education.  She should have the choice to hide behind the desk with the children during a dangerous situation because she has not taken an oath to protect anyone.   If you arm her, you are telling her that you expect her to be a hero.  How many teachers will we have left when they are expected to be both police and teacher in one? 

Stages of Poison Ivy

Stages of poison ivy:

1. Gardening - fun!

2. What's this on my arm, looks like a bug bite or possibly a bit of poison ivy. Either way, no big deal.

3. Hmm, that seems to be definitely a bit of poison ivy because it has spread, that's unfortunate.

4. Good god why is this still spreading?! Seems like it should have chilled out by now, maybe if I pour rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide on it that could stop the madness.

5. I seem to have angered it, there is no stopping it, the poison ivy rash needs to be left alone to destroy my skin, I have no defense.

6. Day 38 of my pain, Something brushed against my skin today and I had to scream to the heavens "please deliver relief!!!" 

Months and months later: gardening - Fun!

Bathroom Blog

It has been a while, but it’s time to bust out my angry typing fingers because I just can’t understand these anti LGBT bathroom laws that are popping up in the south.  Cristy and I were driving home from Florida a couple of weeks ago and stopped in Tennessee to spend the night.  The next morning the women’s bathroom in the lobby was being cleaned (hopefully scrubbing it of that hideous UT orange) so the nice lady in the lobby told me I could just "use the Men’s."  And you know I thought to myself, “Can I be arrested for that in Tennessee?” 

                Transgender people have been using the bathroom of their identified gender for decades.  So how many stories have you heard like “Americans shocked by humans in bathroom appearing to be their same gender later emerging from stalls with fangs, claws and malicious intents!!”  If you are like me you haven’t heard any such stories.  These fears are created by lawmakers intending to hurt the trans community or rally angry supporters.  Nothing is stopping a predator from sneaking into a bathroom at any time.  But since there are also other people in bathrooms my guess is predators avoid bathrooms as potential attack points.  Hey you men who are purporting to “protect your women and children” with these concerns: we seem to be protecting ourselves in the potty just fine.  We aren’t being raped or peeped in our bathrooms, and if we are being peeped it is probably by straight men through holes from the men’s room. 

                Cristy is mistaken for a man occasionally in the women’s restroom so as a couple we have taken measures to minimize her embarrassment.  We go in together, we talk while we walk in so women can hear her voice and after peeing she bolts out using hand sanitizer to avoid washing her hands next to a lady who could give her a dirty look.  And no, she can’t just ‘dress like a girl’ to make it easier on herself.  That would be like asking someone to wear an uncomfortable Halloween costume every day of their life.  This is already hard enough.  Imagine a world in which bathroom vigilantes police the stalls and try to sniff out offenders!  Imagine George Zimmerman types who sit in bathrooms waiting for people who they suspect to be trans and what…asking to see their genitals?  It will be all "Mam can I see your vagina" or “why are you sitting down if you only have to pee, SIR??”  North Carolina’s new sign on men’s bathrooms would be “If you are sitting, then you better be shitting!”  I don’t care what in the world people are doing in the bathroom stalls next to me because it is none of my damn business. 

                In regards to the “religious freedom” bills that protect an individual’s right to discriminate due to “strongly held religious beliefs,” I am really not that concerned.  The court of public opinion will address the majority of those businesses.  I would rather know up front that a bakery doesn’t want my money just because I am gay.  You can take that ugly cake you don’t want me to have and shove it.  I would rather you tell me “no” than spit in my dessert.  But just wait until someone claims that they won’t bake a Christian wedding cake because the Flying Spaghetti Monster demands it be so.  I guarantee there will be outrage across the land!  My biggest concern is that my rights as a citizen as determined by the Supreme Court are not denied due to these “freedoms” that homophobes like to hide behind.  I will not tolerate my future marriage being compromised by Kim Davis or any of her friends.

                So go ahead and try to pass your laws helping people fear the LGBT community, and see how your state fairs without the NBA, Disney, Yelp, the NFL, Pepsi, GE, concerts, commerce, tourism, etc.  In the mean time consider why you care who uses the bathroom near you and instead just play on your phone in the stall like everyone else.

               

The Trump Blog I Shouldn’t Have Had To Write

I have heard politicians, news channels and exaggerators compare different public figures to Hitler SO MANY TIMES that it has become a disgusting cliché.  However in my opinion there is finally a person in the U.S. somewhat worthy of that horrendous comparison.  Donald Trump is a ridiculous, cartoon of a human who is using an angry and frustrated group of people to create fear and blame.  Hate leads to the dark side, as they say, and the dark side type person might (for example) suggest a registry of certain religious groups.

                Let’s get this straight; Donald Trump will never win the presidential election.  He has made a joke of our political system and would obviously damage our national reputation.  In one way and one way only do I appreciate him:  maybe the problems with our two party political system are now more visible so we can attempt to remedy them.  However his damage is corrosive.  Donald has given a voice to grumbly white people who feel they have been forced into the super straight closet.  Angry, homophobic, racist, anti-feminist, xenophobic bigots who were exposed as ridiculous are finding their renewed voice in Trump’s rhetoric.  However what they don’t realize is that their own beloved candidate is using them.  When your candidate states that he could quite literally go into the streets and commit unprovoked homicide and then his supporters would still love him…that is NOT a compliment.  He is blatantly saying that you are so blindly enthralled with his crazy you don’t care what level of horrible he achieves.  He is Suzanne Stone in “To Die For” and you are the naïve teenagers that killed his husband because you love his crazy.  If you haven’t seen that movie then stop reading this and go watch that…we can talk later.

                Illegal immigration isn’t affecting your job prospects, no one has taken your guns, gay marriage hasn’t changed your straight marriage and Obama hasn’t hurt your feelings however badly you might think he has.  Unfortunately for bigots though, your hypocrisy has in fact been exposed as of late.  However instead of attempting to vote another Hitler into office, maybe you could take a step back, take responsibility for your life, remember repeating history can be bad and recognize that prejudice never wins in the end. 

For comparison sake: Jesus had good hair and no money.  So The Donald isn’t your savior, he is the opposite…