Frustrated!
*My appologies for all of the political/non-funny subject matter of late. I try to put these things on my blog rather than on Facebook because I assume that those who read my blog are familiar with my political leanings and are thus less likely to become offended. I promise to post something funny and light hearted soon*
Surveys on facebook thankfully have no scientific value and are not published as statistics, however a recent one grabbed my attention. The question is “Should people receiving government benefits such as welfare have to be drug tested?” An overwhelming majority of people replied yes.
Who do you think the majority of people who benefit from welfare are? Children. And do those children decide to be born to parents who can not provide for themselves and their families? No they do not. They have absolutely no say and if their parent can’t feed them because said parent smoked pot last week and failed a mandated drug test, then that child is helpless.
As a liberal I am frequently accused of having a “bleeding heart,” among other things, but as a liberal I can safely speak for most other liberals I know in saying that we are not under the delusion that the welfare/medicare/WIC/Foodstamps sytem is perfect. It is absolutely flawed and at times encourages recipients to stay in their current situation.
In my opinion, one of the best ways to start moving in the right direction would be to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies, thus reducing the number of people dependent on the system to begin with. There are far too many people in this country and on this planet having children who simply do not need to be having children.
So, in walks Planned Parenthood, a non-profit organization which relies heavily on the government but also on private donations (mine included.) They provide birth control, condoms, counseling, pap smears, information and support, along with occasionally providing help with abortions when needed throughout the country. However here come the political issues:
Currently our system would appear to reward people who have multiple children. This is a flaw in the system which needs to be overcome.
Additionally, our government is currently going through a massive budget overhaul, in which they are attempting to cut funding for Planned Parenthood. PP is demonized for the abortion side of its business, a very small part of the organization which receives absolutely NO federal benefits as it is.
So, in order to save money, we are cutting funds for an organization that ultimately saves our country healthcare costs, saves lives, and decreases the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country thereby reducing the number of people relying on government funding. WTF? This frustrates me, and now I have said my piece about it.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Feminist Rant
Number one
The local talk radio is a frequent subject of my rants. Why do I continue to listen to it you might ask? I have determined that my brain in the mornings needs talk not music. I am not certain why, perhaps it is like the adult opposite of lullaby’s or something. Anyway, once a week they do a segment called “Jeff Unzipped.”
I’ll give you a minute to process that. Yes, that is what the segment is called where Jeff dishes on his take on male behavior, and I gag every time I hear it come on the air. To make it worse, right after they announce the title you hear a zipping noise. Did you just throw up in your mouth? I thought so.
That being said, Jeff actually gives some good advice the majority of the time despite accidentally belittling women in the process. This was my annoyance this morning, and thus I wrote this rant in my head while I drove all the way to work with angry eyes. You know what I’m talking about, my face looked all grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
He made the comment that “women usually enable each other to stay in bad relationships.” Not all the time, he said, just most of the time. Like putting the caveat that a couple of women are not enabler saps made it not sound bad that he thinks most of them are. He thinks we coddle each other in situations so that we don’t hurt each other’s feelings.
First of all, have you met a woman? I am pretty sure a woman gets her feelings hurt more often than Glen Beck uses a chalk board to link liberals to terrorism. More often than I talk about Disney. You see where I am going with this, pretty much every time a car passes on the freeway, there is a woman somewhere saying something to another woman that hurts her feelings.
When I was going through the abominable back and forth break up with my evil ex, I distinctly remember ALL of my female friends and family members telling me that taking her back was a terrible idea. They all said it in their own way, some subtle and some well, not so subtle. But they all found a way at some point in the shenanigans to advise me that she was not going to change and that I could do better. Even relative strangers were advising me to ditch the bitch. And THANK YOU!
If at some times in my life I have not given someone the advice that they need to hear, it is only because I know that I am not the right person to tell them or I know that they will not heed my advice. Sometimes someone is in a situation with a significant other, and although everyone knows it is the wrong situation, we also know that our friend will not dump said wrong person and thus it is not worth alienating our friend to make our point. Thus it can at times be better to hold off. Not “enabling” just being supportive until the right time presents itself. In my situation the right time came when my ex repeated her offense and I knew what to expect from my friends. Unfortunately I didn’t listen until about the 8th time.
Frequently people will attempt to assign certain characteristics to females or males but we are all too different to be analyzed as a collective. Women are not like fruit, with slight physical differences but all the same on the inside. More like snowflakes, similar basic form but all so different and beautiful. Some will give advice, some will hold off, some will scream it in your face while taking your phone away from you so you can’t text someone.
I have tried very hard not to generalize about men while I rant about Jeff generalizing about women…did it work?
Number two
I hate the Mike guy on Top Chef. On top of the constant testosterone fueled competitiveness he displays weekly, last night he made an annoying comment. “She is one of the top female chefs in the country.” Why “Female,” why not just one of the top chefs? Douche bag….I hope he loses.
The local talk radio is a frequent subject of my rants. Why do I continue to listen to it you might ask? I have determined that my brain in the mornings needs talk not music. I am not certain why, perhaps it is like the adult opposite of lullaby’s or something. Anyway, once a week they do a segment called “Jeff Unzipped.”
I’ll give you a minute to process that. Yes, that is what the segment is called where Jeff dishes on his take on male behavior, and I gag every time I hear it come on the air. To make it worse, right after they announce the title you hear a zipping noise. Did you just throw up in your mouth? I thought so.
That being said, Jeff actually gives some good advice the majority of the time despite accidentally belittling women in the process. This was my annoyance this morning, and thus I wrote this rant in my head while I drove all the way to work with angry eyes. You know what I’m talking about, my face looked all grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
He made the comment that “women usually enable each other to stay in bad relationships.” Not all the time, he said, just most of the time. Like putting the caveat that a couple of women are not enabler saps made it not sound bad that he thinks most of them are. He thinks we coddle each other in situations so that we don’t hurt each other’s feelings.
First of all, have you met a woman? I am pretty sure a woman gets her feelings hurt more often than Glen Beck uses a chalk board to link liberals to terrorism. More often than I talk about Disney. You see where I am going with this, pretty much every time a car passes on the freeway, there is a woman somewhere saying something to another woman that hurts her feelings.
When I was going through the abominable back and forth break up with my evil ex, I distinctly remember ALL of my female friends and family members telling me that taking her back was a terrible idea. They all said it in their own way, some subtle and some well, not so subtle. But they all found a way at some point in the shenanigans to advise me that she was not going to change and that I could do better. Even relative strangers were advising me to ditch the bitch. And THANK YOU!
If at some times in my life I have not given someone the advice that they need to hear, it is only because I know that I am not the right person to tell them or I know that they will not heed my advice. Sometimes someone is in a situation with a significant other, and although everyone knows it is the wrong situation, we also know that our friend will not dump said wrong person and thus it is not worth alienating our friend to make our point. Thus it can at times be better to hold off. Not “enabling” just being supportive until the right time presents itself. In my situation the right time came when my ex repeated her offense and I knew what to expect from my friends. Unfortunately I didn’t listen until about the 8th time.
Frequently people will attempt to assign certain characteristics to females or males but we are all too different to be analyzed as a collective. Women are not like fruit, with slight physical differences but all the same on the inside. More like snowflakes, similar basic form but all so different and beautiful. Some will give advice, some will hold off, some will scream it in your face while taking your phone away from you so you can’t text someone.
I have tried very hard not to generalize about men while I rant about Jeff generalizing about women…did it work?
Number two
I hate the Mike guy on Top Chef. On top of the constant testosterone fueled competitiveness he displays weekly, last night he made an annoying comment. “She is one of the top female chefs in the country.” Why “Female,” why not just one of the top chefs? Douche bag….I hope he loses.
Friday, February 18, 2011
The Demise of Panty Hose
I would like to formally propose the elimination of panty hose as a fashion option. I myself have not worn panty hose since I was forced to in a wedding or something similar about 10 years ago. That is a long time to go without them and I am confident that my legs are grateful.
What in the heck is up with Panty Hose any way? In England they have two terms for form fitting leg wear. Tights or Leggings. I assume this is because the British are cooler and more forward thinking regarding fashion and the like and thus have foreseen the ridiculous nature of panty hose. In the U.S. however we retain the distinction of all three options, and I want the garment in question removed from shelves. Useless, flimsy, uncomfortable, unflattering (evidenced by muffin tops everywhere) and itchy; panty hose were my nemesis long before I determined that due to a lack of skirts in my wardrobe I could do without.
Technically it is someone’s choice whether they wear panty hose or not but can’t it be like with guns? You can conceal it underneath pants or a long skirt so that it is not offensive and I won’t be frightened by its existence. There are really plenty of alternatives: socks, tights, leggings, pants, or even…gasp…BARE legs. This is 2011 and I think that there are about 5 women left in the country who would be shocked by bare legs, and they probably can’t see to tell the difference anyway. Good rule of thumb, if your fashion item (something that can be plainly seen as part of your outfit) can be replaced at Walgreen’s then it needs to cease to be a part of your wardrobe… yesterday.
I have researched the following health risks associated with Panty Hose: Urinary tract infections, bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, heat exhaustion, eczema and rashes. That’s nasty, and further proof that stretchy leg prisons are evil.
If you have recently either purchased a large amount of panty hose or bought stock in Legg’s then may I suggest the following uses for Panty Hose:
Fishing nets
Cheese Cloth
Ipad protector
Dog poop baggies
Hand puppets (there are many colors of hose so you could have a culturally diverse collection!)
Tourniquet
Sling shot
Be creative and have fun. Just remember that panty hose are the corset of the 21st century and it is time to move on ladies!! We can consciously make the decision now and look forward to enlightening little girls about the former joys of clear nail polish to stop a “run” and bare toes stuck through the end of a ruined pair. They will thank us and please remind them that it all started here!!
What in the heck is up with Panty Hose any way? In England they have two terms for form fitting leg wear. Tights or Leggings. I assume this is because the British are cooler and more forward thinking regarding fashion and the like and thus have foreseen the ridiculous nature of panty hose. In the U.S. however we retain the distinction of all three options, and I want the garment in question removed from shelves. Useless, flimsy, uncomfortable, unflattering (evidenced by muffin tops everywhere) and itchy; panty hose were my nemesis long before I determined that due to a lack of skirts in my wardrobe I could do without.
Technically it is someone’s choice whether they wear panty hose or not but can’t it be like with guns? You can conceal it underneath pants or a long skirt so that it is not offensive and I won’t be frightened by its existence. There are really plenty of alternatives: socks, tights, leggings, pants, or even…gasp…BARE legs. This is 2011 and I think that there are about 5 women left in the country who would be shocked by bare legs, and they probably can’t see to tell the difference anyway. Good rule of thumb, if your fashion item (something that can be plainly seen as part of your outfit) can be replaced at Walgreen’s then it needs to cease to be a part of your wardrobe… yesterday.
I have researched the following health risks associated with Panty Hose: Urinary tract infections, bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, heat exhaustion, eczema and rashes. That’s nasty, and further proof that stretchy leg prisons are evil.
If you have recently either purchased a large amount of panty hose or bought stock in Legg’s then may I suggest the following uses for Panty Hose:
Fishing nets
Cheese Cloth
Ipad protector
Dog poop baggies
Hand puppets (there are many colors of hose so you could have a culturally diverse collection!)
Tourniquet
Sling shot
Be creative and have fun. Just remember that panty hose are the corset of the 21st century and it is time to move on ladies!! We can consciously make the decision now and look forward to enlightening little girls about the former joys of clear nail polish to stop a “run” and bare toes stuck through the end of a ruined pair. They will thank us and please remind them that it all started here!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Imagination Gets the Best of Me
Today I had an appointment scheduled with a guy we will call John. John was to be here at 3:00 to discuss the programs and tour the college. Anyone familiar with Admissions or my job will not be surprised to hear that John did not show up for said appointment. Shocking…I know.
John was supposed to bring his wife with him to the appointment. This morning when I called to confirm the appointment the wife told me he was sleeping but that she would deliver the message. When I called to find out why he did not come to the appointment she answered again. She told me that he left home and told her he was headed to an appointment.
I immediately assumed that he must be an alcoholic. John was going out to drink on a dirty bar stool and flirt with women with big hair and leathery cleavage in a smoky hole in the wall and he used this appointment he had created as the perfect excuse to give to his wife.
I realized later that it didn’t even occur to me that he was on his way to this appointment, was in some terrible accident and is now in the hospital. This is the kind of thing I would have considered a couple of years ago…now I create the alcoholic liar scenario or one similar.
That is a really sad reflection on my trust factor these days. This job coupled with my previous relationship which ended in a tangled web of convoluted unbelievable fantasy type lies (I think I remember something about Voldomort and Ringwraiths) have rendered me unable to accept simple excuses as the truth.
I think that I need my faith restored. Someone needs to let me down…cancel plans with me to go instead to your granny’s birthday and then let me randomly find a picture of you on Facebook digitally dated the day in question with you and Granny in a birthday cake fight! Something like this could restore my faith in all humanity!!!
I also have noticed that for quite a while now I will create a fictional scenario in my brain following a set of real events. For example, I could see a man in a restaurant staring at Cristy and I and then he will look away. Then I imagine that when I walk by he trips me, then I get up and ask him what his problem is, he yells “dyke” in my face, shoves me again, causing me to bump into the table behind me, reinjuring my tailbone, at which point Cristy comes up and pops in him the nose, he bleeds all over the waitress who is trying to help. More mass hysteria follows and before you know it Cristy is in Jail.
What just happened there? Does anyone else do this or is it just me? All that never happened but I am certain that I ended up giving that man dirty looks the rest of the evening across the BW3’s. Poor guy didn’t even do anything.
I believe that all of this stems from an over active imagination fueled by a few negative experiences which have stuck with me. Fortunately the positive experiences stick, too so I do tend to generally approach life with a smile. Just make sure you smile back or I will assume that you are angry with me because my ex called you and told you that I said something that I didn’t say so that you will be mad at me and now you are going to shun me until the end of days…..Wait..that didn’t happen, either. Phew
John was supposed to bring his wife with him to the appointment. This morning when I called to confirm the appointment the wife told me he was sleeping but that she would deliver the message. When I called to find out why he did not come to the appointment she answered again. She told me that he left home and told her he was headed to an appointment.
I immediately assumed that he must be an alcoholic. John was going out to drink on a dirty bar stool and flirt with women with big hair and leathery cleavage in a smoky hole in the wall and he used this appointment he had created as the perfect excuse to give to his wife.
I realized later that it didn’t even occur to me that he was on his way to this appointment, was in some terrible accident and is now in the hospital. This is the kind of thing I would have considered a couple of years ago…now I create the alcoholic liar scenario or one similar.
That is a really sad reflection on my trust factor these days. This job coupled with my previous relationship which ended in a tangled web of convoluted unbelievable fantasy type lies (I think I remember something about Voldomort and Ringwraiths) have rendered me unable to accept simple excuses as the truth.
I think that I need my faith restored. Someone needs to let me down…cancel plans with me to go instead to your granny’s birthday and then let me randomly find a picture of you on Facebook digitally dated the day in question with you and Granny in a birthday cake fight! Something like this could restore my faith in all humanity!!!
I also have noticed that for quite a while now I will create a fictional scenario in my brain following a set of real events. For example, I could see a man in a restaurant staring at Cristy and I and then he will look away. Then I imagine that when I walk by he trips me, then I get up and ask him what his problem is, he yells “dyke” in my face, shoves me again, causing me to bump into the table behind me, reinjuring my tailbone, at which point Cristy comes up and pops in him the nose, he bleeds all over the waitress who is trying to help. More mass hysteria follows and before you know it Cristy is in Jail.
What just happened there? Does anyone else do this or is it just me? All that never happened but I am certain that I ended up giving that man dirty looks the rest of the evening across the BW3’s. Poor guy didn’t even do anything.
I believe that all of this stems from an over active imagination fueled by a few negative experiences which have stuck with me. Fortunately the positive experiences stick, too so I do tend to generally approach life with a smile. Just make sure you smile back or I will assume that you are angry with me because my ex called you and told you that I said something that I didn’t say so that you will be mad at me and now you are going to shun me until the end of days…..Wait..that didn’t happen, either. Phew
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Information overload
Today Facebook is having issues. I wanted to complain publicly about the fact that Facebook was having issues, however I couldn’t, because Facebook (our go-to complaining source) was having issues!! So then I wanted to comment on the irony in that problem however no one would be able to read my comments because I couldn’t post my blog on Facebook! It is like the Twilight Zone!
If I have thoughts and no one on Facebook is able to hear them, then did I truly have the thoughts at all? Did I actually exist before all 440 of my friends were able to track details like where I am in my life down to what I had for Breakfast?
Perhaps I need a break from Facebook so that I can remember what it is like to have to laugh quietly at my own jokes rather than broadcasting them. Maybe I should not text for a whole week so that I can remember the slight panic feeling of waiting to tell someone something rather than sending the thought to their phone the second my brain creates it. I would probably feel the need to make lists of things to tell my Mom, Cristy and Meg for when I did reach them so that they won’t die before they know that I bought new boots.
Technology has changed the way we communicate, some of it good and some of it bad, but I am wondering if I might need a tiny bit of perspective to ensure I don’t forget what it was like before I had access to more information than I could ever need or want...Oh who am I kidding, when I finish posting this I am going to ask Facebook’s advice on my new bed purchase.
If I have thoughts and no one on Facebook is able to hear them, then did I truly have the thoughts at all? Did I actually exist before all 440 of my friends were able to track details like where I am in my life down to what I had for Breakfast?
Perhaps I need a break from Facebook so that I can remember what it is like to have to laugh quietly at my own jokes rather than broadcasting them. Maybe I should not text for a whole week so that I can remember the slight panic feeling of waiting to tell someone something rather than sending the thought to their phone the second my brain creates it. I would probably feel the need to make lists of things to tell my Mom, Cristy and Meg for when I did reach them so that they won’t die before they know that I bought new boots.
Technology has changed the way we communicate, some of it good and some of it bad, but I am wondering if I might need a tiny bit of perspective to ensure I don’t forget what it was like before I had access to more information than I could ever need or want...Oh who am I kidding, when I finish posting this I am going to ask Facebook’s advice on my new bed purchase.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
This post is gay
Times when it is acceptable to say “That/this is so gay!”
• Pointing at a picture of Ellen Degeneres, Queen Latifa and Drew Barrymore
• Standing on the sidewalk watching a gay pride parade
• Observing two of your friends move in together way too soon in a relationship
• Tipping a Drag Queen at Adonis
• Gesturing enthusiastically at a large Rainbow Flag blowing in the breeze
• Witnessing two lesbians kissing (not two fakebians trying to get attention in a crowded club; that is so NOT gay)
• Reading “Heather Has Two Mommies”
• Participating in the gay softball league
Times when it is not acceptable to say “That/this is so gay.”
• Whispering it to a coworker while being forced to sit through a 3 hour meeting (Unless the meeting is regarding Lady Gaga or something equally literally gay)
• Noticing your best friend is wearing a pink shirt. Unless he is gay, then go ahead and call him gay…cause he is
• Making fun of a parent for saying something old fashioned or un-cool
• Sitting in traffic
• Waiting in a super long line for a latte at Starbucks
• Teasing a boy who is not very athletic
• Eating fancy French pastries
Basically just don’t use it as an insult to someone or something, or to refer to something as effeminate…mmkay?
• Pointing at a picture of Ellen Degeneres, Queen Latifa and Drew Barrymore
• Standing on the sidewalk watching a gay pride parade
• Observing two of your friends move in together way too soon in a relationship
• Tipping a Drag Queen at Adonis
• Gesturing enthusiastically at a large Rainbow Flag blowing in the breeze
• Witnessing two lesbians kissing (not two fakebians trying to get attention in a crowded club; that is so NOT gay)
• Reading “Heather Has Two Mommies”
• Participating in the gay softball league
Times when it is not acceptable to say “That/this is so gay.”
• Whispering it to a coworker while being forced to sit through a 3 hour meeting (Unless the meeting is regarding Lady Gaga or something equally literally gay)
• Noticing your best friend is wearing a pink shirt. Unless he is gay, then go ahead and call him gay…cause he is
• Making fun of a parent for saying something old fashioned or un-cool
• Sitting in traffic
• Waiting in a super long line for a latte at Starbucks
• Teasing a boy who is not very athletic
• Eating fancy French pastries
Basically just don’t use it as an insult to someone or something, or to refer to something as effeminate…mmkay?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Let’s be more Professional
Working in admissions I have daily encounters with some extremely unprofessional folks. And unprofessional is putting it politely and politically correctly.
Following is a recent exchange that I had with a guy who had scheduled an appointment to visit the college last week. He was interested in furthering his education and was very excited about it! He did not show up for the appointment which was a huge shock to me (that was sarcasm.) He apologized when I called because he explained that he had to take his girlfriend to the doctor (likely bull shit, but whatever.) I called him today to reschedule the appointment but apparently the prospective student could not hear me. He was screaming “Hello?” into the phone until I finally decided to hang up and try back later. He called me back only to have the same issue, so when I tried him back one last time, I heard this:
“Hello, HELLO!!??” “If you are going to call me then speak into the f*cking phone!!” Click …
I decided to give this jerk the benefit of the doubt, I mean phone problems CAN be very frustrating so I text him instead. This was the text that I received back:
This is Karrie his Feyonsay, it is very unprofessional to text someone who is looking into college! He is no longer interested in Brown Mackie.
I had to fight off the urge to text back “it is very unprofessional to scream f*ck into the phone even if you are a feyonsay, whatever the hell that is!!” So instead I explained that I was sorry she felt that way; that I was trying to assist a potential student who had enlisted my help in gaining information about our school.
When did it become ok to act like this towards a college representative? I guess these people don’t realize that they are inquiring about information from an institution of higher learning, not auditioning for MTV’s Real World.
Lately about 1 out of every 5 voice mails I get is one of those Fake Out voicemails. You know the kind where the super sneaky and ultra creative recording goes “Hello…Hello…aww, shoot you got my voice mail beyotch, haha. Leave a message!!”
Impressive, you tricked me, made me feel foolish and made yourself look like a douche bag...all at the same time!!
Even better than the tacky voicemails is the email addresses. My email address is annlondon33@hotmail.com. That is standard, name+number and is classic and classy. I understand that there is another Ann London out there, possibly a bunch of them so instead of thinking up some trashy freak name that is embarrassing and difficult to type, I just added numbers to my name!! Instead of following this model, many inquiries I have received in the past have chosen to go a different route. My fellow coworkers and I have complied a listing of them for your enjoyment:
One_thick_chick08@yahoo.com
Bubblebutt_025@yahoo.com
theflamingoporchmonkey@yahoo.com
phatfux123@yahoo.com
sukdikbritney@yahoo.com
mycatpoopsrainbows@yahoo.com
tryn2getmygirlback@hotmail.com
mythickass@yahoo.com
myheartbrnscold@aim.com
babygurlchunkay@yahoo.com
eatafetus666@hotmail.com
chuckleslovesknives@hotmail.com
areyounakediam@yahoo.com
snook_da_coochie_crook@yahoo.com
p.i.m.p.mike0700@yahoo.com
flipitupsmackitrubitdown@yahoo.com
Do you have a favorite? Do you have the desire to change your email to something equally as bizarre? If so, then we are not friends any more. The most disturbing thing of all is that p.i.m.p.mike is number 0700, so does that mean that there are hundreds of other pimps out there in the dark areas of the internet with the same email, just a different number? I don’t think I want to know.
Following is a recent exchange that I had with a guy who had scheduled an appointment to visit the college last week. He was interested in furthering his education and was very excited about it! He did not show up for the appointment which was a huge shock to me (that was sarcasm.) He apologized when I called because he explained that he had to take his girlfriend to the doctor (likely bull shit, but whatever.) I called him today to reschedule the appointment but apparently the prospective student could not hear me. He was screaming “Hello?” into the phone until I finally decided to hang up and try back later. He called me back only to have the same issue, so when I tried him back one last time, I heard this:
“Hello, HELLO!!??” “If you are going to call me then speak into the f*cking phone!!” Click …
I decided to give this jerk the benefit of the doubt, I mean phone problems CAN be very frustrating so I text him instead. This was the text that I received back:
This is Karrie his Feyonsay, it is very unprofessional to text someone who is looking into college! He is no longer interested in Brown Mackie.
I had to fight off the urge to text back “it is very unprofessional to scream f*ck into the phone even if you are a feyonsay, whatever the hell that is!!” So instead I explained that I was sorry she felt that way; that I was trying to assist a potential student who had enlisted my help in gaining information about our school.
When did it become ok to act like this towards a college representative? I guess these people don’t realize that they are inquiring about information from an institution of higher learning, not auditioning for MTV’s Real World.
Lately about 1 out of every 5 voice mails I get is one of those Fake Out voicemails. You know the kind where the super sneaky and ultra creative recording goes “Hello…Hello…aww, shoot you got my voice mail beyotch, haha. Leave a message!!”
Impressive, you tricked me, made me feel foolish and made yourself look like a douche bag...all at the same time!!
Even better than the tacky voicemails is the email addresses. My email address is annlondon33@hotmail.com. That is standard, name+number and is classic and classy. I understand that there is another Ann London out there, possibly a bunch of them so instead of thinking up some trashy freak name that is embarrassing and difficult to type, I just added numbers to my name!! Instead of following this model, many inquiries I have received in the past have chosen to go a different route. My fellow coworkers and I have complied a listing of them for your enjoyment:
One_thick_chick08@yahoo.com
Bubblebutt_025@yahoo.com
theflamingoporchmonkey@yahoo.com
phatfux123@yahoo.com
sukdikbritney@yahoo.com
mycatpoopsrainbows@yahoo.com
tryn2getmygirlback@hotmail.com
mythickass@yahoo.com
myheartbrnscold@aim.com
babygurlchunkay@yahoo.com
eatafetus666@hotmail.com
chuckleslovesknives@hotmail.com
areyounakediam@yahoo.com
snook_da_coochie_crook@yahoo.com
p.i.m.p.mike0700@yahoo.com
flipitupsmackitrubitdown@yahoo.com
Do you have a favorite? Do you have the desire to change your email to something equally as bizarre? If so, then we are not friends any more. The most disturbing thing of all is that p.i.m.p.mike is number 0700, so does that mean that there are hundreds of other pimps out there in the dark areas of the internet with the same email, just a different number? I don’t think I want to know.
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