We had a new employee start in my department this week. I like to play a little game with myself whenever new people get hired. It goes something like this: “how long will it take this person to find out I’m gay, will it be awkward and will they care?”
I have had some moments in the past that have been awkward, easy, funny, unique or uneventful. My favorite was when our new manager began work at one of my past jobs. He wanted to meet with each of us to learn about our goals and get to know us individually. He asked the usual questions and when I was talking about my significant other and my upcoming trip, he asked “and how long have you been with him?” I stated that actually “him” was a “her” and his face turned Santa hat red. All he could muster in response was “me too,” Meaning that he, also, was gay and he couldn’t believe that he of all people had made the wrong assumption.
Also it can be fun to watch people hear about it from me, and then try to pretend that they didn’t already hear about it through office gossip. “Oh REALLY, I didn’t know that!!!!!”
The whole reason I got to thinking about this today was due to a revelation I had when new girl “E” was doing some training at my desk this week. We were discussing cooking habits and then my diet came up, E asked if my family ate the same way that I do. I replied that no my girlfriend Cristy is not vegan or vegetarian. E did not bat an eye, didn’t shift uncomfortably in her seat, didn’t even skip a beat in the conversation. She just didn’t even care. No, wait, it’s not that she didn’t care, because she kept asking questions, she just didn’t see anything alarming about my personal life.
This got me thinking about how much I do believe things have changed for the better (Name that Musical!) for gays and lesbians in our country. E and so many other coworkers of mine just move past the information when my partner comes into conversation instead of dousing me with holy water. It’s no different than telling people you have a dog. Someone who is a cat lover might go off on you about why cats are superior to dogs, but it’s highly unlikely!
Through conversations with coworkers as I get to know them better I learn about other gay people in their own lives. These new acquaintances of mine have been come out to by people who are much closer to them than I am or will ever be. Thus sexual orientation is just another factoid about the girl in the cubicle next door.
I agree with GLAAD and the HRC that visibility in the media and our communities is important to gain acceptance for GLBT Americans and causes like Gay Marriage (which as has been pointed out by people more eloquent than myself, to us is just “Marriage,” I don’t have gay lunch or go gay shopping.) However, I also believe that the sometimes difficult task of coming out to loved ones is even more important since our society has reached a point where most people have a close friend or family member who is out. They might even have a whole bunch..gaggle….bushel?? What is the proper name for a grouping of gay people, anyway?
Whenever I get gloomy about the state of the world (Name that Movie!) after reading about Rick Perry or Michelle Bachman and worry about the fact that many people still share their views about homosexuality, that is when I need to remember my own personal interactions with average Americans and their responses to my personal life. And for the most part the responses turn out to be a whole lot of nothing!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
West Side Story
Mom, Judy, Cristy and I have tickets to see West Side Story when it comes to Cincinnati in March! Cristy and I were discussing the play last night and I was explaining where our seats are located. She was dancing around and said:
Cristy: I want to be in West Side Story, do you think they would take me?
Me: Well who would you like to play?
Cristy: One of the ones that doesn't die...
Cristy: I want to be in West Side Story, do you think they would take me?
Me: Well who would you like to play?
Cristy: One of the ones that doesn't die...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Twilight Blog
I always assumed that mythical creatures like aliens, the Lochness Monster, Big Foot’s (Feet?) and the like would be very difficult to discover considering they have been wondered about for centuries. I watched Twilight last night and apparently, I was wrong. If you are wondering if you might have a friend who is a vampire, then following these simple steps will help you to confirm their undeadliness:
1. Observe suspicious behavior that no one else (adults, police, investigators, teachers, friends) seems to think is suspicious.
2. Ask someone about the history of your town to find out if it contains any legends which could be supernatural in nature. (They will likely have this knowledge to share but you will be the first person they have ever told.)
3. Look it up on the internet.
4. Buy a book about it. (Book must be old and dusty.)
5. Read that book.
6. Compare previously observed suspicious behavior to vampire Symptoms in the book.
7. Accuse the vampire. The vampire will be all “yep, I’m a vampire, wanna go fly around and stuff?”
Bam – you are now the only one on the planet who knows that vampires exist and you will be immediately let into their circle. Unless other people follow this method as laid out in Twilight, in which case lots of people will know….
1. Observe suspicious behavior that no one else (adults, police, investigators, teachers, friends) seems to think is suspicious.
2. Ask someone about the history of your town to find out if it contains any legends which could be supernatural in nature. (They will likely have this knowledge to share but you will be the first person they have ever told.)
3. Look it up on the internet.
4. Buy a book about it. (Book must be old and dusty.)
5. Read that book.
6. Compare previously observed suspicious behavior to vampire Symptoms in the book.
7. Accuse the vampire. The vampire will be all “yep, I’m a vampire, wanna go fly around and stuff?”
Bam – you are now the only one on the planet who knows that vampires exist and you will be immediately let into their circle. Unless other people follow this method as laid out in Twilight, in which case lots of people will know….
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Good Old Days
I always have to giggle to myself whenever I hear people of my generation and those above us speak of how “kids these days have no respect and are worthless.” That sentiment or something similar has been expressed by every group of 30+ year olds since the beginning of civilized time.
There is a curmudgeon sitting in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere expressing this very thought this very minute. And, by the way, it makes you sound SO OLD! You might as well follow it with “When I was young I used to have to walk uphill both ways to school in the snow with steel boots and four coats on.”
In the 60’s the old timers complained that the hippies were ruining America and its wholesomeness. In the 50’s Rock and Roll was destroying our youth. There is always a new culprit and new fingers being pointed.
Many like to blame this lack of respect on the lack of discipline and order by parents. In reality, crappy parents have been around since the dawn of time!! Think back to your school days, weren’t there some nasty, spoiled, rude bullies with no focus in your class? There certainly were in mine!
I also hear some baby boomers complain that were we allowed to smack and whip our kids like they used to in the much better abusive days, then kids would mind their manners. This is the most ridiculous excuse to fall back on antiquated discipline methods that I have ever heard! My parents didn’t whip or spank me or my siblings ever and we are very well rounded and respectful if I do say so myself. We were motivated by a desire to make our parents proud and that is what parents should strive for. It has been proven time and time again that the only thing a hit teaches a child is that when someone does something they don’t like then the solution is to hit.
Parents do more research now a days in more books and sources than were ever imaginable or available in the past. I know parents who spend a good part of their free time educating themselves on how to be good parents in order to produce children who are well rounded members of society. Of course there are those desperately angry parents that we see smacking their screaming child in the middle of the toy aisle at Wal-Mart (one of the main reasons why I don’t go to Wal-Mart;) but those parents and unfortunate children have always been and will likely always be. All we as a society can do is keep educating ourselves and evolving as times change rather than constantly looking to the past for the “Good Old Days.”
Now, class, go watch “Pleasantville” to conclude today’s lesson.
There is a curmudgeon sitting in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere expressing this very thought this very minute. And, by the way, it makes you sound SO OLD! You might as well follow it with “When I was young I used to have to walk uphill both ways to school in the snow with steel boots and four coats on.”
In the 60’s the old timers complained that the hippies were ruining America and its wholesomeness. In the 50’s Rock and Roll was destroying our youth. There is always a new culprit and new fingers being pointed.
Many like to blame this lack of respect on the lack of discipline and order by parents. In reality, crappy parents have been around since the dawn of time!! Think back to your school days, weren’t there some nasty, spoiled, rude bullies with no focus in your class? There certainly were in mine!
I also hear some baby boomers complain that were we allowed to smack and whip our kids like they used to in the much better abusive days, then kids would mind their manners. This is the most ridiculous excuse to fall back on antiquated discipline methods that I have ever heard! My parents didn’t whip or spank me or my siblings ever and we are very well rounded and respectful if I do say so myself. We were motivated by a desire to make our parents proud and that is what parents should strive for. It has been proven time and time again that the only thing a hit teaches a child is that when someone does something they don’t like then the solution is to hit.
Parents do more research now a days in more books and sources than were ever imaginable or available in the past. I know parents who spend a good part of their free time educating themselves on how to be good parents in order to produce children who are well rounded members of society. Of course there are those desperately angry parents that we see smacking their screaming child in the middle of the toy aisle at Wal-Mart (one of the main reasons why I don’t go to Wal-Mart;) but those parents and unfortunate children have always been and will likely always be. All we as a society can do is keep educating ourselves and evolving as times change rather than constantly looking to the past for the “Good Old Days.”
Now, class, go watch “Pleasantville” to conclude today’s lesson.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Missing Comma
Punctuation, it's important, people!!
The following text conversation is a good example of why a missing comma can cause confusion or even disgust.
Cristy: Call me pooter pants
Me: Lol, why?
Cristy: um, ew, lol
Me: Am I missing something?
So from my perspective I was wondering why in the world Cristy would want to be called “Pooter Pants” and I was slightly worried that she had, in fact, pootered in her pants at work. This would be highly unusual but you can understand my concern. When I did ask her why she wanted to be called pooter pants, she answered with ew. This was starting to get scarier. But surely Cristy wouldn’t be lol’ing about an accident in her drawers.
From Cristy’s perspective this was an entirely different conversation. She had intended to say: Call me, pooter pants. She was asking me (here playfully referred to as pooter pants) to call her from my desk. Then when I asked why, she thought that was rude, and replied with ew.
To answer my own question from my final response to Cristy above: The Comma is what you are missing!!
Cristy called me shortly after the text misunderstanding to ask why I hadn’t called her, and I replied that she hadn’t asked me to call her. A quick review of the text conversation revealed the source of confusion.
The moral of the story is do not underestimate the importance of commas. Its absence could cause someone to question your ability to control your bowels.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Pet Peeves
My all time biggest Pet Peeve is when the toilet paper canister is too far for anyone without go-go-gadget arms to reach. This forces toilet users to stand up after doing their business to get the toilet paper, which obviously poses a sanition concern, or to pre-judge how much toilet paper they think they will need before sitting down in the first place. I dont like either of those options.
However, the worst of the worst is the last stall in my work bathroom. I avoid this stall as best I can but sometimes nature calls and I have no choice. See, the reason that this stall is so hellish is because not only is the toilet paper too far to reach but also these toilets flush automatically when you rise from the seat. So when I am in a hurry (as I always am in this stall because I couldn't wait for the other stalls to open up) I am forced to resort to the second option above. Lean far away from the toilet to get the paper, and..........WWWWOOOOOSSSHhhhhhhh!!
However, the worst of the worst is the last stall in my work bathroom. I avoid this stall as best I can but sometimes nature calls and I have no choice. See, the reason that this stall is so hellish is because not only is the toilet paper too far to reach but also these toilets flush automatically when you rise from the seat. So when I am in a hurry (as I always am in this stall because I couldn't wait for the other stalls to open up) I am forced to resort to the second option above. Lean far away from the toilet to get the paper, and..........WWWWOOOOOSSSHhhhhhhh!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Disney Princesses
I have heard some feminists complain about the prevalence of Disney Princess in our female children’s play things. Their concern stems from the fear of daughters feeling that their life goal is only to find a hunky piece of Prince ass to whisk them away to their happily ever after. While I understand the issue and I totally get that daughters need not place their value in finding a man (I am a feminist lesbian, after all) I find some fault in these arguments. My love of Disney caused me to peer further into the feminist princess ban, which on the surface can seem reasonable. I certainly don’t want my future daughter to think that she must wait around in an apron dusting cobwebs and calling out in song for her prince charming. I additionally don’t want her to feel that she has to play with princess dolls at all. She can wear camo, play football and hunt frogs for all I care. Or she can have tea parties with Ariel and Aurora. As long as she is active doing things she loves I will be happy. (Gender conformity is a topic for another blog and I promise I will do that one next, Kerry!)
Just like anything, children learn from movies the lessons that we help them learn. If we constantly praise Cinderella for finding her prince or encourage our little girls to act like princesses so that they can find prince charming then those are the lessons they will take from the Disney movies.
However, upon further investigation of most of the Disney Princess movies, the Princesses within are anything but your typical damsel in distress. Most of them are headstrong, individual, smart and kind. More often than not they buck the system and display characteristics that are atypical of the blushing submissive princess. Following are some examples of lessons to be learned from different princesses.
Jasmine – The princess in Aladdin certainly does not blindly follow the set rules for female royalty in her kingdom. She wasn’t going to have any of that “arranged marriage” crap and she warned her wimpy King daddy that she would choose a man that SHE liked. She made her point and did the triple snap before swinging that massive pony tail in a dramatic exit. Two points for you Princess Jasmine, you go Princess Jasmine. She also called out Aladdin on his tricks and if it weren’t for her help Jafar would be rulling Agrabah as we speak. Jasmine challenged the system and was seeking ways to change her country once she and her husband took the leadership.
Cinderella – Poor Cindy gets the worst rap of all; waiting patiently for her Prince to come and rescue her from her meanie pants step mother, her trashtastic step sisters and their evil cat named Lucifer. That’s really his name, Lucifer and he is actually the nicest of them all. However lessons to be learned from Cinderella are still there if we look! First and foremost I would like to point out that the true hero of this story is the Fairy Godmother. Now there is a powerful female character with a good heart, excellent problem solving abilities and a keen sense of style. The fact that she is an older lady just makes it all the better. Who says you have to be young and beautiful to make stuff happen!? And Cinderella herself was not just a subservient ditz sitting around cleaning for fun. She was kind to animals (she painstakingly made tiny clothes for those little mice which my Mom can tell you is no easy task since she made clothes for my Barbie’s,) she was tolerant of her “family,” she practiced her singing talents diligently (work with me here) and she was a very loving soul.
Mulan – Mulan REALLY bucks the system. When her crippled father is called up to serve in the army, she steps in for him disguised as a boy. She fights and defends her family first and foremost; falling in love was secondary to the story behind her courageous actions. I love some of the music in this movie and Mulan displays strength, creativeness and determination, all wonderful characteristics for children to witness. Additionally, as you may or may not know, I love a girl in drag!
Tiana – Princess Tiana was a girl who knew what she wanted and drove herself to that goal. She worked two jobs all the while holding back from smacking that over privileged terror of a rich blonde friend she had. I mean that girl and her Daddy ate up Tiana’s beignets in one bite! Did they even taste the darn things!? Tiana didn’t even WANT to be a Princess she just wanted that restaurant; and while keeping that goal in mind she fell in love with a guy who she didn’t even know WAS a prince. Well she got that fabulous restaurant and proceeded to make the Prince husband work in the restaurant with her. Excellent turn of events, in my opinion.
I could make a case for all of the princesses redeeming qualities but my point is that there are lessons in each of the Disney movies and it is up to the parents to watch these movies with our children and help them to learn what we feel is relevant for them. All while enjoying the artistry, award winning scores, well developed characters and meaningful story lines in these moving Motion Pictures that we have come to expect from Walt Disney Studios. (You didn’t expect me to get through this without a gratuitous moment of praise for my beloved, did you?)
Just like anything, children learn from movies the lessons that we help them learn. If we constantly praise Cinderella for finding her prince or encourage our little girls to act like princesses so that they can find prince charming then those are the lessons they will take from the Disney movies.
However, upon further investigation of most of the Disney Princess movies, the Princesses within are anything but your typical damsel in distress. Most of them are headstrong, individual, smart and kind. More often than not they buck the system and display characteristics that are atypical of the blushing submissive princess. Following are some examples of lessons to be learned from different princesses.
Jasmine – The princess in Aladdin certainly does not blindly follow the set rules for female royalty in her kingdom. She wasn’t going to have any of that “arranged marriage” crap and she warned her wimpy King daddy that she would choose a man that SHE liked. She made her point and did the triple snap before swinging that massive pony tail in a dramatic exit. Two points for you Princess Jasmine, you go Princess Jasmine. She also called out Aladdin on his tricks and if it weren’t for her help Jafar would be rulling Agrabah as we speak. Jasmine challenged the system and was seeking ways to change her country once she and her husband took the leadership.
Cinderella – Poor Cindy gets the worst rap of all; waiting patiently for her Prince to come and rescue her from her meanie pants step mother, her trashtastic step sisters and their evil cat named Lucifer. That’s really his name, Lucifer and he is actually the nicest of them all. However lessons to be learned from Cinderella are still there if we look! First and foremost I would like to point out that the true hero of this story is the Fairy Godmother. Now there is a powerful female character with a good heart, excellent problem solving abilities and a keen sense of style. The fact that she is an older lady just makes it all the better. Who says you have to be young and beautiful to make stuff happen!? And Cinderella herself was not just a subservient ditz sitting around cleaning for fun. She was kind to animals (she painstakingly made tiny clothes for those little mice which my Mom can tell you is no easy task since she made clothes for my Barbie’s,) she was tolerant of her “family,” she practiced her singing talents diligently (work with me here) and she was a very loving soul.
Mulan – Mulan REALLY bucks the system. When her crippled father is called up to serve in the army, she steps in for him disguised as a boy. She fights and defends her family first and foremost; falling in love was secondary to the story behind her courageous actions. I love some of the music in this movie and Mulan displays strength, creativeness and determination, all wonderful characteristics for children to witness. Additionally, as you may or may not know, I love a girl in drag!
Tiana – Princess Tiana was a girl who knew what she wanted and drove herself to that goal. She worked two jobs all the while holding back from smacking that over privileged terror of a rich blonde friend she had. I mean that girl and her Daddy ate up Tiana’s beignets in one bite! Did they even taste the darn things!? Tiana didn’t even WANT to be a Princess she just wanted that restaurant; and while keeping that goal in mind she fell in love with a guy who she didn’t even know WAS a prince. Well she got that fabulous restaurant and proceeded to make the Prince husband work in the restaurant with her. Excellent turn of events, in my opinion.
I could make a case for all of the princesses redeeming qualities but my point is that there are lessons in each of the Disney movies and it is up to the parents to watch these movies with our children and help them to learn what we feel is relevant for them. All while enjoying the artistry, award winning scores, well developed characters and meaningful story lines in these moving Motion Pictures that we have come to expect from Walt Disney Studios. (You didn’t expect me to get through this without a gratuitous moment of praise for my beloved, did you?)
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