Lately my greatest fear regarding my own potential as a writer is the possibility of a past missed opportunity during College. I was and am so grateful to have parents who were willing to pay for my college costs…from the books to the beer. At the time it seemed reasonable and prudent to major in Accounting. I didn’t simply open the College Catalog to a random page and point. Instead this decision was agreed upon by all interested parties upon examination of the job market and discussion of my stellar math skills. As it would turn out, math is definitely not the same thing as accounting. I impart this wisdom to potential students all the time. Just because something has to do with numbers, that does NOT make it math. Also turns out that not only is accounting not like math, I really don’t even like it. For me, on a scale of Bees to Disney, Accounting falls only slightly above bees.
The biggest deterrent to College Ann deciding to major in something like English or Writing at UK was that College Ann didn’t even enjoy writing! She hated papers and essays and such. I assume this is because when I am forced to do something then the enjoyment gets subsequently sucked out. Cristy was telling me today that she is not looking forward to her Literature Class because when she is TOLD to read something her attitude wants to go the way mine did when I was forced to practice piano. But I don’t waannaaaaaaaaaaaaaa read it!!!
To make matters worse, I didn’t plan on my future self utilizing the knowledge I was learning in my few English and Composition classes. So while I did enjoy reading, grammar and analyzing stories and Shakespeare, a lot of that knowledge seems to have been filed in the “it’s ok to forget later” part of my brain. You know, where I put the stuff like chemistry and Football rules.
Sometimes I will be reading blogs about writing and things like “sentence structure” or “ethos” will come up and I start thinking “do I even remember what that is and if so am I doing it all wrong!?” Terrifying. Does it really matter though? Is it possible that it could turn out to be a good thing that I don’t have to conform to certain models or expectations? Is it possible that people outside of academia might feel my writing more relatable if it isn’t influenced by academic law? Was it truly a missed opportunity? Only time will tell; but I am willing to find out. I am willing to put effort in and to practice, read and study things on my own to find my own voice as a writer.
Regardless, the Income Statement route I ended up taking did bring me where I am now. From Auditor to General Accounting to Recruiting to Admissions/sales to wanting to be out of Sales – along that journey I have made friends, learned things, changed and grown as a person. You can never go back and change your life. And as I told my cousin yesterday: you wont ever have a perfect life but you should never stop striving to make it so.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
Ridiculous Pinterest Ideas
I love Pinterest, really I do. But sometimes I see things pinned on there that lead me to the conclusion that the pinner just didn't really think it through. You guys, sometimes something might seem like a good idea, and it just isn't. Here is a random sampling for your enjoyment.
2. Initials instead of tags on gifts. This is such a great idea…unless you have more than one person in your family with the same initial, as 98% of families do…
5. Place water with food color in a balloon in the freezer to freeze, right? Then they will come out shaped like whatever they are laying against, not these marbles, right? And what kid ever even said "I want a clown, a trampoline and some medium sized colored ice marbles at my birthday party."
Friday, October 12, 2012
Grief
I have discovered an effective weapon for fighting grief and figured that I should share it with the people I love (well, the people who read this blog. Probably you don’t all love me and probably some people who love me don’t even read this stuff.)
Rather than worrying about all those stages of grief and whether you have been through them all or whether there are more to come; you can take this simple approach and just forget about all that nonsense. I mean, I have been grieving in the past and had anger way before I was in denial and then been all sad and then angry again and thought: “Who organized these stages, anyway!!!”
So the weapon is this: plan a fabulous vacation you can’t afford. In order for this strategy to work you must have a vacation destination in mind that will completely relax you and one that is, for you, your “Happy Place.” We all know where my happy place is so I don’t even need to write it. Ok, wait yes I do DISNEY WORLD! Sorry, even writing it makes me feel a little better. You need to plan a vacation you can’t afford to somewhere that when you simply write down the name of the place it helps just a little bit. That is key.
When I say plan the vacation I don’t mean simply picture yourself there in your head and smile. I mean really plan that shit. I have been on the Disney Website all morning planning out which hotel I will live in and what parks I will visit. I have created a budget (even though I don’t have the money for said budget) and thought of who might go with me (Cristy has to work, boo.) It is most important to really commit to this planning. I have gotten to the point where I am even thinking of ways to raise money for this journey. (For example, I have about 400 FB friends….if each of them gave $5 to the cause…)
When I get home tonight I am going to sit down with some wine, gather together all of my Disney Vacation planning materials, books and DVD’s (yes, I will need like 3 tray tables and the coffee table to hold all of them, beat you to that joke) and plan some more. I am going to plan my little heart out until some of the hurt in the heart hopefully goes away.
(Happy Place)
Rather than worrying about all those stages of grief and whether you have been through them all or whether there are more to come; you can take this simple approach and just forget about all that nonsense. I mean, I have been grieving in the past and had anger way before I was in denial and then been all sad and then angry again and thought: “Who organized these stages, anyway!!!”
So the weapon is this: plan a fabulous vacation you can’t afford. In order for this strategy to work you must have a vacation destination in mind that will completely relax you and one that is, for you, your “Happy Place.” We all know where my happy place is so I don’t even need to write it. Ok, wait yes I do DISNEY WORLD! Sorry, even writing it makes me feel a little better. You need to plan a vacation you can’t afford to somewhere that when you simply write down the name of the place it helps just a little bit. That is key.
When I say plan the vacation I don’t mean simply picture yourself there in your head and smile. I mean really plan that shit. I have been on the Disney Website all morning planning out which hotel I will live in and what parks I will visit. I have created a budget (even though I don’t have the money for said budget) and thought of who might go with me (Cristy has to work, boo.) It is most important to really commit to this planning. I have gotten to the point where I am even thinking of ways to raise money for this journey. (For example, I have about 400 FB friends….if each of them gave $5 to the cause…)
When I get home tonight I am going to sit down with some wine, gather together all of my Disney Vacation planning materials, books and DVD’s (yes, I will need like 3 tray tables and the coffee table to hold all of them, beat you to that joke) and plan some more. I am going to plan my little heart out until some of the hurt in the heart hopefully goes away.
Warning: This theory has not been tested scientifically or even with anyone other than the author so the advice contained in this blog bears no guarantee of relieving your grief or that of anyone you suggest utilize this method.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Acting
My Mom and I had a conversation recently about Jennifer Lawrence’s career (The Lawrence Family went to our church growing up and I am friends with her brother, Ben.) Her lovely face is simply everywhere these days so we find ourselves talking about her occasionally. We were bouncing around ideas about what that thing is that makes her stand out over so many other young actresses. She has done drama, action, small film, large film, comedy and scary (I may or may not hide half my face under blankets during the commercial for House at the End of the Street) all in her young career. With an Oscar nomination for Winters Bone and rumors of another for the Silver Linings Playbook (both of these for two different genres,) girl has got it going on.
When I consider some of the roles I have seen her master, scenes I have watched her nail; I remember finding myself thinking “I could never do that!” Last night I realized, that’s IT! That is what makes someone great. While watching TV or a play I often find myself flirting with the idea “I could so do that.” However given deeper thought I always come to the conclusion that I couldn’t even pull off Kristen Stewart levels of acting. I would giggle while she sulks. Acting is quickly struck from my list of “Potential Career Paths and/or Ways to get Rich,” but the thought does cross my mind. It does NOT cross my mind when watching Jennifer.
Cristy and I recently watched Albert Nobbs and you can bet Glenn Close’s Oscars that it didn't occur to me for one second that I could have pulled off that masterpiece of acting genius. She IS Albert Nobbs; she becomes a completely different person in that movie. Based on her track record so far, Jennifer’s IMDB profile could end up looking something like a Glenn Close or a Meryl Streep’s even.
Jennifer seems to have been driven from a young age to do something different, to be something special, and she challenges herself. In an interview where she describes failing at log chopping (for me failing at log chopping would mean lots of dead people and not a single chip in the log) she says she refused to let them bring in a body double as they threatened to do. She chopped up that darned log and some other ones, too. Dang, lady, that is why you are Katniss Freaking Everdeen! You want something and you get it!
My Mom’s favorite story of a young Jennifer is when Jennifer’s Mother, Karen, brought her to meet with Mom so that Mom could try to convince the teenager that she needed to keep attending Youth Group and Choir at our Church on Sunday nights. Jennifer made such a compelling argument to my Mom she was left thinking “well, maybe the child is right!” She knew she didn’t want to do it and she calmly made it clear why. When I wanted or didn’t want to do something at 13 I would yell things about “Not Fair” and “everyone else” and “WHY ME!?”
Comparing Jennifer Lawrence with Kristen Stewart is like comparing Barbara Kingsolver with that horny lady who wrote 50 Shades of Bondage or whatever it is. Does not compute. She is already on a completely different playing field and I am very excited to see where her career goes while she completely becomes these other characters she chooses to portray. I guess even that scary one because I’m sure Cristy will make me watch it.
When I consider some of the roles I have seen her master, scenes I have watched her nail; I remember finding myself thinking “I could never do that!” Last night I realized, that’s IT! That is what makes someone great. While watching TV or a play I often find myself flirting with the idea “I could so do that.” However given deeper thought I always come to the conclusion that I couldn’t even pull off Kristen Stewart levels of acting. I would giggle while she sulks. Acting is quickly struck from my list of “Potential Career Paths and/or Ways to get Rich,” but the thought does cross my mind. It does NOT cross my mind when watching Jennifer.
Cristy and I recently watched Albert Nobbs and you can bet Glenn Close’s Oscars that it didn't occur to me for one second that I could have pulled off that masterpiece of acting genius. She IS Albert Nobbs; she becomes a completely different person in that movie. Based on her track record so far, Jennifer’s IMDB profile could end up looking something like a Glenn Close or a Meryl Streep’s even.
Jennifer seems to have been driven from a young age to do something different, to be something special, and she challenges herself. In an interview where she describes failing at log chopping (for me failing at log chopping would mean lots of dead people and not a single chip in the log) she says she refused to let them bring in a body double as they threatened to do. She chopped up that darned log and some other ones, too. Dang, lady, that is why you are Katniss Freaking Everdeen! You want something and you get it!
My Mom’s favorite story of a young Jennifer is when Jennifer’s Mother, Karen, brought her to meet with Mom so that Mom could try to convince the teenager that she needed to keep attending Youth Group and Choir at our Church on Sunday nights. Jennifer made such a compelling argument to my Mom she was left thinking “well, maybe the child is right!” She knew she didn’t want to do it and she calmly made it clear why. When I wanted or didn’t want to do something at 13 I would yell things about “Not Fair” and “everyone else” and “WHY ME!?”
Comparing Jennifer Lawrence with Kristen Stewart is like comparing Barbara Kingsolver with that horny lady who wrote 50 Shades of Bondage or whatever it is. Does not compute. She is already on a completely different playing field and I am very excited to see where her career goes while she completely becomes these other characters she chooses to portray. I guess even that scary one because I’m sure Cristy will make me watch it.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
How To Spot a Writer
I was sitting outside today reading during my lunch break on the concrete picnic set which is the only outside seating option at my job. My desire to be outside and away from my gloomy desk supersedes the discomfort inflicted from ass on rock. Who even ever thought that a concrete seat was a good idea? Next they will be making paper weights made of cotton balls. Anyway…..I started mulling over some odd behaviors that are likely unique to those of us who enjoy writing; and then as a writer of course decided to share those writer qualities with you…in writing. Ahem; here they are in no particular order:
1. Writers could be mid conversation, mid book, mid pretty much anything and leave that task to write down an idea that sprung out of wherever any idea comes from. It could be a bad one; it could be so ingenious that it needs to go under lock and key out of fear of thievery. But either way it must be documented at that very time lest it be forgotten. Cristy finally broke down and bought me a small note book to have on hand because she felt sorry for me and my sad little scraps of paper and envelopes with illegible notes scratched in random patterns.
2. Writers spend time editing and crafting the most appropriate words to convey their feelings. Thus, we might also craft a better conversation than the one we just had with you and come back later with something better.
3. If you catch a writer or someone you suspect is a writer starring off into space then probably there is something highly creative and interesting going on in their head. Best to leave them be.
4. Writers are constantly editing their own work so it becomes natural to then start editing everyone else’s stuff too. The majority of the time I avoid critiquing others because I know that would be completely rude and frowned upon; however occasionally one might slip by so I apologize in advance if it ever happens to you and yours.
5. Writers typically will have ink smudged all over their writing hand from the page. Just kidding, this isn’t the 1800’s and we don’t use ink wells anymore, silly!!!
6. When I spot someone who looks so sleepy they might fall asleep in a meeting (and sometimes they do) I wonder if they were up late with their kids, they drank too much the night before, or maybe, just maybe they are a writer. Sometimes I will wake in the middle of the night with a thought or an idea and I lay there trying to staple it into my mind, writing and rewriting it onto a virtual post-it note. I worry and worry that I will forget it after a night of weird dreams so that eventually I get up and write it down. That process takes a good 1-2 hours out of an otherwise normal night.
If you enjoy writing and have something to add, feel free to comment and lengthen my list!!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Whoops
Remember that uneasy feeling when you were little because some other kids would be talking about something that you didn’t know about yet and you had to play along but not act too involved in the conversation out of fear they would ask you questions about it? Well today's blog is about when that kind of thing happens as an adult.
You know, like when you thought something was one thing but it turns out to be this total different thing. I am going to share some of my more embarrassing ones with you in hopes that you will do the same and we can all point at one another and have a good laugh at each others’ expense. Please be a good sport.
For pretty much ever I have thought that Key Biscayne was a place near the bottom of Florida somewhere called Keepiscane. One word. When I finally realized it was a Key like Largo or the better known West, it was a revelation.
Just recently I was reading an article about people who self diagnose themselves on the internet and the hypochondria that causes (I’m looking at you, Cristy.) The article sited the Pew Research Council’s statistical data on percent of internet users who do this and I was confused. You see until that moment I thought that the Pew Research Council compiled statistical data of people at churches. In my mind it was data collected regarding the people sitting in the pews. I didn’t get why the church would care how many of their members searched their symptoms on the internet. How many members searched porn or something, I could maybe get. Turns out the Pew Research Council has nothing to do with actual Pews. Yeah, I’m dumb.
Anyway, another fun one is that for most of my life I have used the phrase “All intents and purposes” just like everyone else does. However I though it was “All intensive purposes.” If you have heard me say that and didn’t correct me then shame on you!
Song lyrics work, too. When we were little my Brother, Paul and I thought that The Rolling Stones song “Start Me Up” was actually about a Mexican Hero named “El Estafio.” “El Estafio, El Estafio, you never stop.”
OK, enough laughing at me, now your turn. Make me laugh, folks!
You know, like when you thought something was one thing but it turns out to be this total different thing. I am going to share some of my more embarrassing ones with you in hopes that you will do the same and we can all point at one another and have a good laugh at each others’ expense. Please be a good sport.
For pretty much ever I have thought that Key Biscayne was a place near the bottom of Florida somewhere called Keepiscane. One word. When I finally realized it was a Key like Largo or the better known West, it was a revelation.
Just recently I was reading an article about people who self diagnose themselves on the internet and the hypochondria that causes (I’m looking at you, Cristy.) The article sited the Pew Research Council’s statistical data on percent of internet users who do this and I was confused. You see until that moment I thought that the Pew Research Council compiled statistical data of people at churches. In my mind it was data collected regarding the people sitting in the pews. I didn’t get why the church would care how many of their members searched their symptoms on the internet. How many members searched porn or something, I could maybe get. Turns out the Pew Research Council has nothing to do with actual Pews. Yeah, I’m dumb.
Anyway, another fun one is that for most of my life I have used the phrase “All intents and purposes” just like everyone else does. However I though it was “All intensive purposes.” If you have heard me say that and didn’t correct me then shame on you!
Song lyrics work, too. When we were little my Brother, Paul and I thought that The Rolling Stones song “Start Me Up” was actually about a Mexican Hero named “El Estafio.” “El Estafio, El Estafio, you never stop.”
OK, enough laughing at me, now your turn. Make me laugh, folks!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Chickens Vs. The Gays
The whole Chick-Fil-gAypocolypse this week has created more discussion, anger, disgust, shock and “Fried Processed Chikn Food” eating than I could ever have imagined when I heard that Chick-Fil-A’s CEO had spoken the infamous words “Guilty as charged” last week. For one, I already knew that the company gave money to Anti-Marriage Equality causes. I already used my HRC application on my Iphone to help me chose Fairness Friendly companies at which to spend my hard earned money. I also didn’t expect the protests following it to become so misguided.
Throughout the poultry battle over the past week or so there was one thing that some Gay Marriage supporters got terribly wrong, in my opinion. When Boston’s mayor decided to write and publish a letter to Chick-Fil-A advising them that their business was not welcome, I hope he was doing so with his constituents in mind; however government officials should never have become involved. Chick-Fil-A and all businesses have every right to give their money to Anti Gay Marriage groups, Anti Tall People Getting Married groups or anti whatever they want.
However, here is where the Gay Marriage supporters have it right and also I think where the confusion has set in. So many fights have broken out and feelings been hurt because someone’s family member or friend supported Chick-Fil-A yesterday. Unfortunately I think many of those supporters thought they were supporting Freedom of Speech. This was never about Freedom of Speech. We as consumers have the right to take that information the CEO shared with us and to protest the company. We have the right to stop eating there. We have the right to post on Facebook, billboards, TV commercials and banners in our parades about it. We have the right to OUR freedom of expression to react as we see fit. I have blogged before about the misconceptions relating to Freedom of Speech. Anytime someone has a problem with something some douchbag says, someone else is going to say “Stop blasting him, he has a right to say that, it is his FREEDOM OF SPEECH.” Indeed it is! And it is also everyone else’s right to hate what he said and let him know it!
People make consumer decisions based on all different factors. Some choose based on price, appearance, whether it’s “Made In The USA,” or made in a sweatshop. Some might buy something because their friends like it or because Miley Cyrus wore it. Others choose based on the company’s philosophies, how they treat their employees or, as is this case, based on where the company sends some of their profits. You see, the CEO didn’t simply say that he thinks Marriage should be between Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve (Which I always think is funny. Naked straight people can get married but not fully clothed gay men.) He also gives some of Chick-Fil-A’s profits to Anti-Gay causes. This is where many gay people were flabbergasted to find that some of our loved ones chose to actively support the chicken man yesterday; on a day set aside to show support to him and his statements about his decisions. So while I understand that Gay Marriage might not necessarily be a factor in where you decide to eat fried food on a normal day, yesterday was different.
There is one thing about the fight for Marriage Equality I will never understand and maybe someone can help me with. I fully support your right to believe in your interpretation of your Bible, your Torah or your Holy copy of The Complete Chronicles and Gospel of Puff the Magic Dragon. However why in the world does it matter to you if gay people can get married in your country or your state? Fine, don’t allow it in your Church, Synagogue, or….Cave? (where would you go to worship Puff, not sure) but why does it matter to you if they wed in a courthouse?
Chicken man cares (and apparently a lot of people still care) but times they are definitely a-changin.’ Support for Gay Marriage (or Marriage Equality as I like to call it) grows every day. Young people simply don’t care who their Aunts, friends, cousins, moms, Grandparents or teachers share their lives with. As my Sister-In-Law recently pointed out, you don’t see people picketing “Chubby Chasers” or couples who found each other because they both share a passion for beautiful covered bridges. It doesn’t matter why or how two adult people fall in love, just that they are happy and are treated fairly. Eventually it will be a non-issue and I think it will be in my lifetime. However in the mean time it matters greatly to me where I spend my money, who I vote for and that I continue to show pride in who I am.
In the mean time I think everyone needs to sit down with friends and family and discuss why they did or didn’t eat places yesterday. And I will continue to fully support chicken man’s right to believe in his interpretation of the bible and give your money to Anti-Marriage Equality Groups. I guarantee you he won’t be giving mine.
P.S. You wouldn’t have caught me dead in a Chick-Fil-A even before I knew that those cute cows were homophobic because I don’t eat Chicken or Cows anyway, homophobes or not.
Throughout the poultry battle over the past week or so there was one thing that some Gay Marriage supporters got terribly wrong, in my opinion. When Boston’s mayor decided to write and publish a letter to Chick-Fil-A advising them that their business was not welcome, I hope he was doing so with his constituents in mind; however government officials should never have become involved. Chick-Fil-A and all businesses have every right to give their money to Anti Gay Marriage groups, Anti Tall People Getting Married groups or anti whatever they want.
However, here is where the Gay Marriage supporters have it right and also I think where the confusion has set in. So many fights have broken out and feelings been hurt because someone’s family member or friend supported Chick-Fil-A yesterday. Unfortunately I think many of those supporters thought they were supporting Freedom of Speech. This was never about Freedom of Speech. We as consumers have the right to take that information the CEO shared with us and to protest the company. We have the right to stop eating there. We have the right to post on Facebook, billboards, TV commercials and banners in our parades about it. We have the right to OUR freedom of expression to react as we see fit. I have blogged before about the misconceptions relating to Freedom of Speech. Anytime someone has a problem with something some douchbag says, someone else is going to say “Stop blasting him, he has a right to say that, it is his FREEDOM OF SPEECH.” Indeed it is! And it is also everyone else’s right to hate what he said and let him know it!
People make consumer decisions based on all different factors. Some choose based on price, appearance, whether it’s “Made In The USA,” or made in a sweatshop. Some might buy something because their friends like it or because Miley Cyrus wore it. Others choose based on the company’s philosophies, how they treat their employees or, as is this case, based on where the company sends some of their profits. You see, the CEO didn’t simply say that he thinks Marriage should be between Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve (Which I always think is funny. Naked straight people can get married but not fully clothed gay men.) He also gives some of Chick-Fil-A’s profits to Anti-Gay causes. This is where many gay people were flabbergasted to find that some of our loved ones chose to actively support the chicken man yesterday; on a day set aside to show support to him and his statements about his decisions. So while I understand that Gay Marriage might not necessarily be a factor in where you decide to eat fried food on a normal day, yesterday was different.
There is one thing about the fight for Marriage Equality I will never understand and maybe someone can help me with. I fully support your right to believe in your interpretation of your Bible, your Torah or your Holy copy of The Complete Chronicles and Gospel of Puff the Magic Dragon. However why in the world does it matter to you if gay people can get married in your country or your state? Fine, don’t allow it in your Church, Synagogue, or….Cave? (where would you go to worship Puff, not sure) but why does it matter to you if they wed in a courthouse?
Chicken man cares (and apparently a lot of people still care) but times they are definitely a-changin.’ Support for Gay Marriage (or Marriage Equality as I like to call it) grows every day. Young people simply don’t care who their Aunts, friends, cousins, moms, Grandparents or teachers share their lives with. As my Sister-In-Law recently pointed out, you don’t see people picketing “Chubby Chasers” or couples who found each other because they both share a passion for beautiful covered bridges. It doesn’t matter why or how two adult people fall in love, just that they are happy and are treated fairly. Eventually it will be a non-issue and I think it will be in my lifetime. However in the mean time it matters greatly to me where I spend my money, who I vote for and that I continue to show pride in who I am.
In the mean time I think everyone needs to sit down with friends and family and discuss why they did or didn’t eat places yesterday. And I will continue to fully support chicken man’s right to believe in his interpretation of the bible and give your money to Anti-Marriage Equality Groups. I guarantee you he won’t be giving mine.
P.S. You wouldn’t have caught me dead in a Chick-Fil-A even before I knew that those cute cows were homophobic because I don’t eat Chicken or Cows anyway, homophobes or not.
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