Guns In Schools

 Ahhh, guns.  One of the most hotly debated topics in Murica.  I am just going to throw this out there – I HATE GUNS.  I hate them, I hate the loud noise they make, I hate the thought of killing anyone or anything with them, I hate the way they look and the fact that the NRA has so much power over our legislature that we can’t get basic background check laws passed even though majority of our country supports them (because the NRA represents gun manufacturers, not gun owners.)  HOWEVER, I respect and love many people in my life who do like guns.  Some of my friends hunt with them.  Some family members feel safer because they have them.  And a few I know are just stocking up ammunition for the zombie apocalypse.  Everyone is different.  But what I wanted to address today is the possibility of arming teachers in schools to protect against violence.  

 I have a sister, cousins, aunts and friends who are teachers. They work hard, they care about their students and they decided to be teachers for a beautiful variety of reasons.  But none of those reasons has anything to do with wanting to protect the students in their classrooms from violence or terrorism.  People join the army to do that.  They enlist in the Marines or join the Police Force if they want to serve and protect.  Someone who feels called to protect the citizens of the United States rarely feels called to teach fifth grade math at the same time.  Kindergarten Cop is not a real thing.  Is that what proponents of guns in classrooms are picturing?  Arnold Schwarzenegger types running through the hallways of the school with a 5 year old in one arm and a machine gun in the other, blasting all the bad guys in a storm of glory?  

 My sister shouldn’t have to go through SWAT training to teach children how to read. She shouldn’t have to worry that she did the wrong thing in a crisis or that she might accidentally shoot a student in the process of trying to defend the classroom.  “Defense of Classroom” is not a class she took in college when she was taking all the required courses to get her Master’s Degree in Education.  She should have the choice to hide behind the desk with the children during a dangerous situation because she has not taken an oath to protect anyone.   If you arm her, you are telling her that you expect her to be a hero.  How many teachers will we have left when they are expected to be both police and teacher in one? 

Stages of Poison Ivy

Stages of poison ivy:

1. Gardening - fun!

2. What's this on my arm, looks like a bug bite or possibly a bit of poison ivy. Either way, no big deal.

3. Hmm, that seems to be definitely a bit of poison ivy because it has spread, that's unfortunate.

4. Good god why is this still spreading?! Seems like it should have chilled out by now, maybe if I pour rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide on it that could stop the madness.

5. I seem to have angered it, there is no stopping it, the poison ivy rash needs to be left alone to destroy my skin, I have no defense.

6. Day 38 of my pain, Something brushed against my skin today and I had to scream to the heavens "please deliver relief!!!" 

Months and months later: gardening - Fun!

Bathroom Blog

It has been a while, but it’s time to bust out my angry typing fingers because I just can’t understand these anti LGBT bathroom laws that are popping up in the south.  Cristy and I were driving home from Florida a couple of weeks ago and stopped in Tennessee to spend the night.  The next morning the women’s bathroom in the lobby was being cleaned (hopefully scrubbing it of that hideous UT orange) so the nice lady in the lobby told me I could just "use the Men’s."  And you know I thought to myself, “Can I be arrested for that in Tennessee?” 

                Transgender people have been using the bathroom of their identified gender for decades.  So how many stories have you heard like “Americans shocked by humans in bathroom appearing to be their same gender later emerging from stalls with fangs, claws and malicious intents!!”  If you are like me you haven’t heard any such stories.  These fears are created by lawmakers intending to hurt the trans community or rally angry supporters.  Nothing is stopping a predator from sneaking into a bathroom at any time.  But since there are also other people in bathrooms my guess is predators avoid bathrooms as potential attack points.  Hey you men who are purporting to “protect your women and children” with these concerns: we seem to be protecting ourselves in the potty just fine.  We aren’t being raped or peeped in our bathrooms, and if we are being peeped it is probably by straight men through holes from the men’s room. 

                Cristy is mistaken for a man occasionally in the women’s restroom so as a couple we have taken measures to minimize her embarrassment.  We go in together, we talk while we walk in so women can hear her voice and after peeing she bolts out using hand sanitizer to avoid washing her hands next to a lady who could give her a dirty look.  And no, she can’t just ‘dress like a girl’ to make it easier on herself.  That would be like asking someone to wear an uncomfortable Halloween costume every day of their life.  This is already hard enough.  Imagine a world in which bathroom vigilantes police the stalls and try to sniff out offenders!  Imagine George Zimmerman types who sit in bathrooms waiting for people who they suspect to be trans and what…asking to see their genitals?  It will be all "Mam can I see your vagina" or “why are you sitting down if you only have to pee, SIR??”  North Carolina’s new sign on men’s bathrooms would be “If you are sitting, then you better be shitting!”  I don’t care what in the world people are doing in the bathroom stalls next to me because it is none of my damn business. 

                In regards to the “religious freedom” bills that protect an individual’s right to discriminate due to “strongly held religious beliefs,” I am really not that concerned.  The court of public opinion will address the majority of those businesses.  I would rather know up front that a bakery doesn’t want my money just because I am gay.  You can take that ugly cake you don’t want me to have and shove it.  I would rather you tell me “no” than spit in my dessert.  But just wait until someone claims that they won’t bake a Christian wedding cake because the Flying Spaghetti Monster demands it be so.  I guarantee there will be outrage across the land!  My biggest concern is that my rights as a citizen as determined by the Supreme Court are not denied due to these “freedoms” that homophobes like to hide behind.  I will not tolerate my future marriage being compromised by Kim Davis or any of her friends.

                So go ahead and try to pass your laws helping people fear the LGBT community, and see how your state fairs without the NBA, Disney, Yelp, the NFL, Pepsi, GE, concerts, commerce, tourism, etc.  In the mean time consider why you care who uses the bathroom near you and instead just play on your phone in the stall like everyone else.

               

The Trump Blog I Shouldn’t Have Had To Write

I have heard politicians, news channels and exaggerators compare different public figures to Hitler SO MANY TIMES that it has become a disgusting cliché.  However in my opinion there is finally a person in the U.S. somewhat worthy of that horrendous comparison.  Donald Trump is a ridiculous, cartoon of a human who is using an angry and frustrated group of people to create fear and blame.  Hate leads to the dark side, as they say, and the dark side type person might (for example) suggest a registry of certain religious groups.

                Let’s get this straight; Donald Trump will never win the presidential election.  He has made a joke of our political system and would obviously damage our national reputation.  In one way and one way only do I appreciate him:  maybe the problems with our two party political system are now more visible so we can attempt to remedy them.  However his damage is corrosive.  Donald has given a voice to grumbly white people who feel they have been forced into the super straight closet.  Angry, homophobic, racist, anti-feminist, xenophobic bigots who were exposed as ridiculous are finding their renewed voice in Trump’s rhetoric.  However what they don’t realize is that their own beloved candidate is using them.  When your candidate states that he could quite literally go into the streets and commit unprovoked homicide and then his supporters would still love him…that is NOT a compliment.  He is blatantly saying that you are so blindly enthralled with his crazy you don’t care what level of horrible he achieves.  He is Suzanne Stone in “To Die For” and you are the naïve teenagers that killed his husband because you love his crazy.  If you haven’t seen that movie then stop reading this and go watch that…we can talk later.

                Illegal immigration isn’t affecting your job prospects, no one has taken your guns, gay marriage hasn’t changed your straight marriage and Obama hasn’t hurt your feelings however badly you might think he has.  Unfortunately for bigots though, your hypocrisy has in fact been exposed as of late.  However instead of attempting to vote another Hitler into office, maybe you could take a step back, take responsibility for your life, remember repeating history can be bad and recognize that prejudice never wins in the end. 

For comparison sake: Jesus had good hair and no money.  So The Donald isn’t your savior, he is the opposite…

Halloween Time

It’s a bag of candy filled with bubble gum that smells like cocoa and mini chocolate bars that taste a little like bubble gum. It’s pumpkin seeds that may have been cooked too long but you eat them anyway because no one really knows the exact recipe. It’s admiring Cristy’s mad pumpkin carving skills. It’s candy corn for those of us who love candy corn (more for me if you don’t.) It’s the smell of crunchy leaves and the last lawn clippings of the year. It’s planning on buying articles of clothing for this year’s costume that would never be part of your normal wardrobe. It’s memories of Halloween parades and candy trades with old Anchorage School friends. It’s admiring my friends and family’s costume creativity. It’s scary movie marathons with my favorite girl. It’s decorations that remind me of Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party, which remind me of the Haunted Mansion, the Headless Horseman, and Trick or Treating in the Magic Kingdom. It’s realizing that I am old enough to Trick or Treat again with nieces and nephews and also that I am past the point of pretending that drunken adult Halloween parties could possibly replace the joy of collecting candy from strangers for hours on end. It’s sweatshirts for football and warm drinks that smell like cinnamon. It’s my favorite time of the year.

Stolen Chickens

Like so many of us kids in my generation (hahaha, let’s pretend we are still the “kids,” right?) I am concerned about the poisonous chemicals in our food and the torturous way our animal (turned meat or eggs)  food is raised.  It is a simple concept, chemicals and tortured animals are bad for our bodies, our planet and our souls.  So a year or so ago when my Brother in Law and his family invested in a flock of chickens for their yard, it made me think.  Initially I thought: “Birds must be a pest.” Because have you seen the movie ‘The Birds?!’  Birds must be gross, they must make noise, they must peck at stuff like my eyes and most importantly…my dogs love to eat chicken.   However, after further inspection, his chickens were none of those things AND his dogs didn’t eat them up.  In fact, those chickens were fascinating. 

Chickens will let small children pick them up!  They will come flying across the yard when you call them for treats like some kind of tiny, clumsy, velociraptor! They make for a wonderful teaching tool for children who have no idea that the chicken they eat is a real animal they can pet!  Hens make eggs and lay them with no need for a rooster which is totally hip because it’s pretty gay!  What a lesson.

We were hooked and our hens Lillian and Peanut were so easy to adopt and care for that we immediately wondered why we hadn’t always had chickens.  Feed, water, safe coop and free range space is about all they need.  Hens make little noise and they eat much of your veggie/fruit food scrap that would have ended up in the trash (ex. melon rinds, wilted lettuce, shriveled tomatoes, peas, banana ends, zucchini seeds and those tiny pieces of corn that you just can’t get off of the cob.)

We thought we researched but apparently we did not find the right spot in our city ordinance which states that chickens and other “agricultural animals” are not allowed since they “spread disease” and most folks in Dayton, Ky live in homes with small yards.  So after about a year one of our “neighbors” decided our hens were cluck cluck clucking too loud, or were too feathery, or were actual real velociraptors, or were too lesbian, or whatever.  But someone called the cops on my chickens.  We will call him Ass Hole Neighbor.

Our Animal Control officer was very nice and gave us a week to move them (since if it had been a pit bull breed-like dog she would have to remove it to a shelter immediately.)  And don’t even get me started on the ridiculous habit of assigning death sentences to dogs because they have a certain “look” to them.

I came home tonight and went to sit outside with my girls for one of our last visits. While entertaining them and crying about it all, I noticed Ass Hole Neighbor in his yard watering his Venus fly traps and feeding his man-eating poison ivy garden.  He heard my sobs and literally threw the hose down and ran inside like “oh lord, I didn’t know the lesbians had feelings!”

I have a lot on my plate right now and can’t fight it just yet, so our pretty chickens are going to live with a friend who lives close by.  I can go and visit our girls, bring them their favorite treats (cherry tomatoes, grapes and meal worms,) and my nephew can continue to gather dried bugs for them at his home like he likes to do.  After a big project is in the bag my next major project is tackling local city ordinance bans on chickens.  These bans are worthless, silly and they push away young (ok youngish, in my case) families who want to raise as much of their own food as possible.  We don’t want our eggs coming from chickens who are packed in tiny cages with no ability to move, peck, flap their wings, dig for bugs, or really do ANY thing that is natural for a chicken.  We want to eat responsible food and not pay $6 per dozen eggs to do it.  New York City residents can have chickens. Homes don't get any more close than New York so Dayton residents can deal with some cluck, clucking.

Disclaimer: My mom is afraid that Ass Hole Neighbor will read my posts, figure out I am talking about him, and then attack or somehow shoot myself and/or Cristy.  So if you are reading this, then you are definitely NOT “Ass Hole Neighbor.”

Caitlyn

So I found out today that Caitlyn Jenner is receiving an ESPY award.  I didn’t find out through CNN or by talking to my LGBT friends about Caitlyn’s beautiful transformation which is the latest chapter in advancements for LGBT Americans.  Nope, I found out through social media, unfortunately.  Unfortunately I had to read a hundred anti-trans comments made by friends and friends of friends because they are upset that Caitlyn won the award over others.  Most notably they are upset about the perceived snub by ESPN to the sweet Lauren Hill, a local hero after her brave battle with cancer.  I wish that Caitlyn hadn’t won the award.  Not because I think that she didn’t deserve it.  It isn’t my call.  I don’t know why ESPN chose Caitlyn.  I would like to think it is because her story has been a catalyst for the gargantuan advancement in understanding of the struggles of transgender people.  I would like to think that the award recognizes that people like Caitlyn provide hope for thousands of transgender children and teens across the country that all too often gravitate towards suicide or life-long seclusion from loved ones rather than becoming their true selves.  Perhaps they chose her as someone who represents that our heroes, whether they be athletes, actors, soldiers or government leaders have their own lives and their own struggles.  Because to people in my parent’s generation Bruce Jenner was an Olympic hero who earned an amazing athletic achievement for the US Olympic Team.  Unfortunately they probably chose her because it will mean higher ratings for the ESPY awards.  But for whatever reason they picked her, I wish they hadn’t because it has opened Caitlyn’s story up to additional criticism, jokes, anger, and horribly sad transphobia.  People who were teetering on the edge of hate now have a reason to spew it all over the internet.  

I am certainly not saying that my friends/people who think Lauren should have won the award over Caitlyn are hateful or transphobic at all, but that many who feel that way have become hateful to try to make their point.

There has been additional talk and dozens of memes posted to the effect of “Caitlyn is not a hero, our brave men and women serving in the military are heroes.”  This makes no sense, there are many varieties of heroes and mine might be different from yours.  While one could argue that US soldiers would fall on everyone’s list, Caitlyn IS on some people’s lists.  For example, the Leelah Alcorn’s of the world, who are desperately seeking some hope for their future.  Caitlyn would have been a hero to her because Caitlyn’s presence and visibility might have saved her life.  Are we only allowed to reserve the terms “brave” and “hero” for those who are in the military?  That would be like if a church was recognizing a member of its congregation for exceptional Christian community service but people stood up in the pews and were like “boo, she doesn’t deserve it, she’s not a NUN!!!”  Lauren Hill has been a hero to dozens of children and families who are facing the horrible battle with childhood cancer.  She didn’t put on camouflage and stare down the enemy, but she is brave, just the same.  Again, it isn’t my place to decide who won this award, but I understand why she is a hero to so many!

While you might not personally know someone who is Transgender, if you are reading this then you know at least one gay person, and gay Americans deal with many of the same rejections and fears as Transgender people do so we sometimes share the same heroes.  Remember that your experiences and opinions are your own and everyone’s are different.   The more we understand that, the more our world is able to become a better place for everyone.