A few months ago I was in Chipotle and noticed the impatient man in front of me rolling his eyes at the length of the line. Apparently he felt that he should be the only one who wants a burrito at 12:45 in the afternoon and the quick pace of the line was not enough to satisfy him. When he reached the ordering station, he snipped and snapped at each person who was there to help, and he visibly made fun of the man who was adding the cheese. Impatient man didn’t understand the word “Queso” so proceeded to make fun of the Chipotle worker’s English while fussing that he wanted four half-ton mountains of cheese instead of just three.
Another lady a few weeks later didn’t like that there was a hold up of approximately 2 minutes, and asked me “what’s taking so long, are they converting to pesos!? Heh heh heh.” I just stared at her.
First of all I think it is interesting how people have so quickly forgotten what it was like before we had places like Subway and Chipotle where we can literally direct the person constructing our food. We get to tell them how to make it! Do these people still visit Taco Bell and Wendy’s? Would anyone accept a single shriveled brown piece of lettuce if they were watching the sandwich being made? They are willing to pay for that slop on a bun but should Chipotle put one fewer piece of chicken flesh (sorry had to throw that in there) than you were wanting on your troth of food and all hell breaks loose. Power corrupts!!!
This application of salsa will mean I will NOT HAVE FULL SALSA COVERAGE IN EVERY BITE!! OH THE RAGE!!!!
Secondly, this particular Chipotle has given me extraordinary service 99% of the time. For the majority of the employees English is a second language but this really is not a bother as we are always able to communicate and my burrito is consistently fresh, fast and most importantly, Vegan! All up until today when I went in to order and noticed a very obvious lack of cultural diversity in the line. All of a sudden there is no language barrier, just a lack of interest. The 18-22 year old white kids on the line were passive, unfriendly, and sloppy and a couple even sported a sizeable attitude.
The following exchange happened in front of me in line:
Dude In Stocking Cap: “Could I get a little extra chicken?”
Rude White Chick with Too Much Make Up: *While flopping on a few extra pieces of chicken* “Yep and it costs extra.”
DISC: Oh, well I didn’t realize it would cost extra, I just wanted a few extra pieces.
RWCWTMMU: “Well, I guess we are GIVING AWAY free CHICKEN today!?” *As she mushes the thing together into a semi-burrito shape*
DISC: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a problem, I just didn’t want to pay for extra chicken, I didn’t really want it all that much, and ….”
All the while ALL the girls in the line were hemming and hawing for literally like 10 minutes about whether to make this offender a new burrito or to charge him for the chicken, or to just give him the burrito as is and not charge him extra. They went back and forth, all contradicting each other, like they were deciding which division of a Fortune 500 company to sell off. All of this time I am waiting for the burrito steaming chick to stop asking me things I had already told her. Brown Rice, no meat, I said vegetarian. Burrito not bowl, I already said that!!!!
I am truly hoping that the reason for the staff switch up is because some of the workers have gone home to Mexico for the holidays and they will return. I really, really, hope it’s not due to complaints from jerks like Impatient Man from the original example above. I, for one, would 10 times rather have the friendly Mexican workers back since they actually provide a good customer experience. A lot more than I can say about these ladies I encountered today.
People with accents (especially Hispanic accents) are constantly made fun of, ridiculed and dismissed and it even happens in my local Mexican restaurant. No, really, it does. I saw some trashy douche bags doing it not too long ago!! There, where the owners, chefs, wait staff and the lady swiping your credit card have a Mexican accent because they are, gasp, FROM Mexico. Big effing deal. How much does this really inconvenience folks that they feel the need to post it on Facebook and put ugly bumper stickers on their Toyotas about it? “Speak English, you are in America.” “America is for Americans.”
Unless you are full blood Native American then your ancestors also came from somewhere besides America. Get over it and enjoy some queso (or Queso Vegetariano estricto.)
Monday, December 12, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Out
We had a new employee start in my department this week. I like to play a little game with myself whenever new people get hired. It goes something like this: “how long will it take this person to find out I’m gay, will it be awkward and will they care?”
I have had some moments in the past that have been awkward, easy, funny, unique or uneventful. My favorite was when our new manager began work at one of my past jobs. He wanted to meet with each of us to learn about our goals and get to know us individually. He asked the usual questions and when I was talking about my significant other and my upcoming trip, he asked “and how long have you been with him?” I stated that actually “him” was a “her” and his face turned Santa hat red. All he could muster in response was “me too,” Meaning that he, also, was gay and he couldn’t believe that he of all people had made the wrong assumption.
Also it can be fun to watch people hear about it from me, and then try to pretend that they didn’t already hear about it through office gossip. “Oh REALLY, I didn’t know that!!!!!”
The whole reason I got to thinking about this today was due to a revelation I had when new girl “E” was doing some training at my desk this week. We were discussing cooking habits and then my diet came up, E asked if my family ate the same way that I do. I replied that no my girlfriend Cristy is not vegan or vegetarian. E did not bat an eye, didn’t shift uncomfortably in her seat, didn’t even skip a beat in the conversation. She just didn’t even care. No, wait, it’s not that she didn’t care, because she kept asking questions, she just didn’t see anything alarming about my personal life.
This got me thinking about how much I do believe things have changed for the better (Name that Musical!) for gays and lesbians in our country. E and so many other coworkers of mine just move past the information when my partner comes into conversation instead of dousing me with holy water. It’s no different than telling people you have a dog. Someone who is a cat lover might go off on you about why cats are superior to dogs, but it’s highly unlikely!
Through conversations with coworkers as I get to know them better I learn about other gay people in their own lives. These new acquaintances of mine have been come out to by people who are much closer to them than I am or will ever be. Thus sexual orientation is just another factoid about the girl in the cubicle next door.
I agree with GLAAD and the HRC that visibility in the media and our communities is important to gain acceptance for GLBT Americans and causes like Gay Marriage (which as has been pointed out by people more eloquent than myself, to us is just “Marriage,” I don’t have gay lunch or go gay shopping.) However, I also believe that the sometimes difficult task of coming out to loved ones is even more important since our society has reached a point where most people have a close friend or family member who is out. They might even have a whole bunch..gaggle….bushel?? What is the proper name for a grouping of gay people, anyway?
Whenever I get gloomy about the state of the world (Name that Movie!) after reading about Rick Perry or Michelle Bachman and worry about the fact that many people still share their views about homosexuality, that is when I need to remember my own personal interactions with average Americans and their responses to my personal life. And for the most part the responses turn out to be a whole lot of nothing!!
I have had some moments in the past that have been awkward, easy, funny, unique or uneventful. My favorite was when our new manager began work at one of my past jobs. He wanted to meet with each of us to learn about our goals and get to know us individually. He asked the usual questions and when I was talking about my significant other and my upcoming trip, he asked “and how long have you been with him?” I stated that actually “him” was a “her” and his face turned Santa hat red. All he could muster in response was “me too,” Meaning that he, also, was gay and he couldn’t believe that he of all people had made the wrong assumption.
Also it can be fun to watch people hear about it from me, and then try to pretend that they didn’t already hear about it through office gossip. “Oh REALLY, I didn’t know that!!!!!”
The whole reason I got to thinking about this today was due to a revelation I had when new girl “E” was doing some training at my desk this week. We were discussing cooking habits and then my diet came up, E asked if my family ate the same way that I do. I replied that no my girlfriend Cristy is not vegan or vegetarian. E did not bat an eye, didn’t shift uncomfortably in her seat, didn’t even skip a beat in the conversation. She just didn’t even care. No, wait, it’s not that she didn’t care, because she kept asking questions, she just didn’t see anything alarming about my personal life.
This got me thinking about how much I do believe things have changed for the better (Name that Musical!) for gays and lesbians in our country. E and so many other coworkers of mine just move past the information when my partner comes into conversation instead of dousing me with holy water. It’s no different than telling people you have a dog. Someone who is a cat lover might go off on you about why cats are superior to dogs, but it’s highly unlikely!
Through conversations with coworkers as I get to know them better I learn about other gay people in their own lives. These new acquaintances of mine have been come out to by people who are much closer to them than I am or will ever be. Thus sexual orientation is just another factoid about the girl in the cubicle next door.
I agree with GLAAD and the HRC that visibility in the media and our communities is important to gain acceptance for GLBT Americans and causes like Gay Marriage (which as has been pointed out by people more eloquent than myself, to us is just “Marriage,” I don’t have gay lunch or go gay shopping.) However, I also believe that the sometimes difficult task of coming out to loved ones is even more important since our society has reached a point where most people have a close friend or family member who is out. They might even have a whole bunch..gaggle….bushel?? What is the proper name for a grouping of gay people, anyway?
Whenever I get gloomy about the state of the world (Name that Movie!) after reading about Rick Perry or Michelle Bachman and worry about the fact that many people still share their views about homosexuality, that is when I need to remember my own personal interactions with average Americans and their responses to my personal life. And for the most part the responses turn out to be a whole lot of nothing!!
West Side Story
Mom, Judy, Cristy and I have tickets to see West Side Story when it comes to Cincinnati in March! Cristy and I were discussing the play last night and I was explaining where our seats are located. She was dancing around and said:
Cristy: I want to be in West Side Story, do you think they would take me?
Me: Well who would you like to play?
Cristy: One of the ones that doesn't die...
Cristy: I want to be in West Side Story, do you think they would take me?
Me: Well who would you like to play?
Cristy: One of the ones that doesn't die...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Twilight Blog
I always assumed that mythical creatures like aliens, the Lochness Monster, Big Foot’s (Feet?) and the like would be very difficult to discover considering they have been wondered about for centuries. I watched Twilight last night and apparently, I was wrong. If you are wondering if you might have a friend who is a vampire, then following these simple steps will help you to confirm their undeadliness:
1. Observe suspicious behavior that no one else (adults, police, investigators, teachers, friends) seems to think is suspicious.
2. Ask someone about the history of your town to find out if it contains any legends which could be supernatural in nature. (They will likely have this knowledge to share but you will be the first person they have ever told.)
3. Look it up on the internet.
4. Buy a book about it. (Book must be old and dusty.)
5. Read that book.
6. Compare previously observed suspicious behavior to vampire Symptoms in the book.
7. Accuse the vampire. The vampire will be all “yep, I’m a vampire, wanna go fly around and stuff?”
Bam – you are now the only one on the planet who knows that vampires exist and you will be immediately let into their circle. Unless other people follow this method as laid out in Twilight, in which case lots of people will know….
1. Observe suspicious behavior that no one else (adults, police, investigators, teachers, friends) seems to think is suspicious.
2. Ask someone about the history of your town to find out if it contains any legends which could be supernatural in nature. (They will likely have this knowledge to share but you will be the first person they have ever told.)
3. Look it up on the internet.
4. Buy a book about it. (Book must be old and dusty.)
5. Read that book.
6. Compare previously observed suspicious behavior to vampire Symptoms in the book.
7. Accuse the vampire. The vampire will be all “yep, I’m a vampire, wanna go fly around and stuff?”
Bam – you are now the only one on the planet who knows that vampires exist and you will be immediately let into their circle. Unless other people follow this method as laid out in Twilight, in which case lots of people will know….
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Good Old Days
I always have to giggle to myself whenever I hear people of my generation and those above us speak of how “kids these days have no respect and are worthless.” That sentiment or something similar has been expressed by every group of 30+ year olds since the beginning of civilized time.
There is a curmudgeon sitting in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere expressing this very thought this very minute. And, by the way, it makes you sound SO OLD! You might as well follow it with “When I was young I used to have to walk uphill both ways to school in the snow with steel boots and four coats on.”
In the 60’s the old timers complained that the hippies were ruining America and its wholesomeness. In the 50’s Rock and Roll was destroying our youth. There is always a new culprit and new fingers being pointed.
Many like to blame this lack of respect on the lack of discipline and order by parents. In reality, crappy parents have been around since the dawn of time!! Think back to your school days, weren’t there some nasty, spoiled, rude bullies with no focus in your class? There certainly were in mine!
I also hear some baby boomers complain that were we allowed to smack and whip our kids like they used to in the much better abusive days, then kids would mind their manners. This is the most ridiculous excuse to fall back on antiquated discipline methods that I have ever heard! My parents didn’t whip or spank me or my siblings ever and we are very well rounded and respectful if I do say so myself. We were motivated by a desire to make our parents proud and that is what parents should strive for. It has been proven time and time again that the only thing a hit teaches a child is that when someone does something they don’t like then the solution is to hit.
Parents do more research now a days in more books and sources than were ever imaginable or available in the past. I know parents who spend a good part of their free time educating themselves on how to be good parents in order to produce children who are well rounded members of society. Of course there are those desperately angry parents that we see smacking their screaming child in the middle of the toy aisle at Wal-Mart (one of the main reasons why I don’t go to Wal-Mart;) but those parents and unfortunate children have always been and will likely always be. All we as a society can do is keep educating ourselves and evolving as times change rather than constantly looking to the past for the “Good Old Days.”
Now, class, go watch “Pleasantville” to conclude today’s lesson.
There is a curmudgeon sitting in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere expressing this very thought this very minute. And, by the way, it makes you sound SO OLD! You might as well follow it with “When I was young I used to have to walk uphill both ways to school in the snow with steel boots and four coats on.”
In the 60’s the old timers complained that the hippies were ruining America and its wholesomeness. In the 50’s Rock and Roll was destroying our youth. There is always a new culprit and new fingers being pointed.
Many like to blame this lack of respect on the lack of discipline and order by parents. In reality, crappy parents have been around since the dawn of time!! Think back to your school days, weren’t there some nasty, spoiled, rude bullies with no focus in your class? There certainly were in mine!
I also hear some baby boomers complain that were we allowed to smack and whip our kids like they used to in the much better abusive days, then kids would mind their manners. This is the most ridiculous excuse to fall back on antiquated discipline methods that I have ever heard! My parents didn’t whip or spank me or my siblings ever and we are very well rounded and respectful if I do say so myself. We were motivated by a desire to make our parents proud and that is what parents should strive for. It has been proven time and time again that the only thing a hit teaches a child is that when someone does something they don’t like then the solution is to hit.
Parents do more research now a days in more books and sources than were ever imaginable or available in the past. I know parents who spend a good part of their free time educating themselves on how to be good parents in order to produce children who are well rounded members of society. Of course there are those desperately angry parents that we see smacking their screaming child in the middle of the toy aisle at Wal-Mart (one of the main reasons why I don’t go to Wal-Mart;) but those parents and unfortunate children have always been and will likely always be. All we as a society can do is keep educating ourselves and evolving as times change rather than constantly looking to the past for the “Good Old Days.”
Now, class, go watch “Pleasantville” to conclude today’s lesson.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Missing Comma
Punctuation, it's important, people!!
The following text conversation is a good example of why a missing comma can cause confusion or even disgust.
Cristy: Call me pooter pants
Me: Lol, why?
Cristy: um, ew, lol
Me: Am I missing something?
So from my perspective I was wondering why in the world Cristy would want to be called “Pooter Pants” and I was slightly worried that she had, in fact, pootered in her pants at work. This would be highly unusual but you can understand my concern. When I did ask her why she wanted to be called pooter pants, she answered with ew. This was starting to get scarier. But surely Cristy wouldn’t be lol’ing about an accident in her drawers.
From Cristy’s perspective this was an entirely different conversation. She had intended to say: Call me, pooter pants. She was asking me (here playfully referred to as pooter pants) to call her from my desk. Then when I asked why, she thought that was rude, and replied with ew.
To answer my own question from my final response to Cristy above: The Comma is what you are missing!!
Cristy called me shortly after the text misunderstanding to ask why I hadn’t called her, and I replied that she hadn’t asked me to call her. A quick review of the text conversation revealed the source of confusion.
The moral of the story is do not underestimate the importance of commas. Its absence could cause someone to question your ability to control your bowels.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Pet Peeves
My all time biggest Pet Peeve is when the toilet paper canister is too far for anyone without go-go-gadget arms to reach. This forces toilet users to stand up after doing their business to get the toilet paper, which obviously poses a sanition concern, or to pre-judge how much toilet paper they think they will need before sitting down in the first place. I dont like either of those options.
However, the worst of the worst is the last stall in my work bathroom. I avoid this stall as best I can but sometimes nature calls and I have no choice. See, the reason that this stall is so hellish is because not only is the toilet paper too far to reach but also these toilets flush automatically when you rise from the seat. So when I am in a hurry (as I always am in this stall because I couldn't wait for the other stalls to open up) I am forced to resort to the second option above. Lean far away from the toilet to get the paper, and..........WWWWOOOOOSSSHhhhhhhh!!
However, the worst of the worst is the last stall in my work bathroom. I avoid this stall as best I can but sometimes nature calls and I have no choice. See, the reason that this stall is so hellish is because not only is the toilet paper too far to reach but also these toilets flush automatically when you rise from the seat. So when I am in a hurry (as I always am in this stall because I couldn't wait for the other stalls to open up) I am forced to resort to the second option above. Lean far away from the toilet to get the paper, and..........WWWWOOOOOSSSHhhhhhhh!!
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