Idina and Jack

The reason I have no one to blame but myself that I didn’t meet Idina Menzel:

A few years ago my mother came to Cincinnati to distract herself from the fact that my sister might never ever go into labor with my mother’s first grandchild.  The best possible distraction was of course Idina singing with the Cincinnati Pops at the Cincinnati Music Hall.  I knew there were tickets left and I also knew I didn’t want to go alone so Mom drove on up and agreed to let me attempt to get those tickets.  And I’ll be damned if we didn’t get some awesome seats on the edge of the theater where I was in full waving view.  By which I mean I waved at that woman and shot “look at me, I love you” power stares at her throughout the entire concert. 

We were about ¾ of the way into the concert but only ¼ of the way into Idina’s amazing performance of all the best songs that ever were, when we received the text that Meg was in labor with sweet Jack.  Now, I expected Mom to up and bail and maybe even leave me there to brave the Cincinnati Taxi Cabs alone.  However, to my surprise when I asked her if we were leaving, like a kid asking if they have to leave McDonalds Playground, she said, “no, we will stay.”

What?! I could remain in my amazing seat and I could listen to Idina’s voice and look at her for the rest of the concert!  It was beautiful and epic, and to make you feel better about this story we didn’t miss any of the birth and in fact had to wait about 12 hours for any birthing.

So, the self hating “I could have had it” moment happened right after the concert.  We fast walked to our car and then drove mom’s Prius in a circle around the Music Hall following the one way streets. Concurrently we both noticed a crowd of about 25 people waiting at the stage door behind the building. They were waiting for Idina.  Mom looked at them as we sat at the stop light, and I could see the conflict in her eyes.  She asked “there is probably time, do you want to go meet her?”  This was an easy decision, Mom wanted to go to that baby, and I wanted to go to my sister and my nephew.  I looked at her and said: “It’s ok, Mom, let’s go.  And we did.  We were there early and slept in the waiting room and didn’t have to worry we might miss it.

I will never actually regret that decision, because I was with my family in an important moment.  To quote Rent:

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, no day but today."

 

My Agenda

The latest in poor innocent TV stars who have lost their jobs or been reprimanded for anti-gay speech is the HGTV Benham brother duo.  My favorite part of their story is that they seem to have finally realized and publicized that they don't have a "Free Speech" argument to win, however they have taken off and run with the "Gay Agenda" one.  That phrase, "agenda," gets tossed around like its a "regime" or "cult" kind of word.  However I feel perfectly comfortable if someone says I have an "agenda."  Yes, it is on my agenda to ensure my family is not discriminated against.  It is a dream of mine that one day people won't choose a single passage out of a centuries old book and use it to say that I am somehow immoral.  My "agenda" is just that, mine.  Everyone has an agenda.  And everyone has a right to their opinion.   But as the common agenda of anti-homophobia becomes a powerful force in this country, and since our country is a capitalist one, companies are naturally going to attempt to appeal to the majority.  I am sorry that "religious" anti-gay Americans now find themselves in the minority and feel sad about it, but a corner has been turned.  Martin Luther King had an "agenda," and while still not fully realized it was powerful and beautiful. 2 years ago Cristy and I discussed that we would probably not see same-sex marriage in our state until we were very old.  Today it is just around the corner!  No one is entitled to a TV show, just as if I were to walk around my office calling people immoral or sinful I would not be entitled to my job any longer.  So, I say, go make yourself an agenda!  And I hope it doesn't include "judging people even though my religion specifically tells me not to do that."

Gay Movie

If I could pick one gay movie (and by "gay movie" I mean a movie that no straight person would see without a gay friend to force them) that everyone should see, it is If These Walls Could Talk 2.  I have seen it probably 95 times (and by 95 times I mean 95 hundred times.)

Let me preface this choice by stating that this is definitely an R rated movie.  Kids are not invited to this party and anyone who is not comfortable with, um shall I say bedroom scenes, should not be invited, either. 

However, ITWCT2 is an amazing glimpse into lesbian culture and issues.  There are three different stories, the first of which features Vanessa Redgrave!!! as an older lady in a long term relationship living in the 60's.  Heartbreaking and frustrating, it shows some issues that gay women might have faced in that time period.  But it also encourages the viewer to think back on this couple's life and struggles together.  The second story highlights the issues that gender rules and feminism played for lesbians in the 1970's.  Featuring Michelle Williams! and Chole Sevigny! the segment reminds us that many women found themselves at odds with their feminist notions and their own attractions.  Because culture for lesbians was new, rules were confusing and structure rejected.  The third and final story shows a 90's lesbian couple, played by Ellen DeGeneres!! and Sharon Stone!! who are attempting to start a family. It brings to light the questions, pain, confusion, stress and hope that lesbian couples face when trying to address their motherly instincts. 

The movie, while provocative and emotional, is one of my favorite movies of all time, and every single time I see it, I wish that at least a few more straight people would be aware of the messages it contains.  If anything you can convince your husband to watch Sharon Stone having some lady sex, right? 

Disclaimer: if you would like to continue in your delusion that Ellen is a sexless, adorable, super lesbian, then I would skip a certain part in the third episode. 

Crazy Eyes

Allow me to preface this blog by stating that when I am mad about something I blog.  I hope this doesn't cause my readers to think that I am an angry person, because generally, I am not.  In fact I have been accused of being "too nice," "too sweet," or even "too happy" at times.  However, writing out my feelings helps me to get over certain things.  Once I write out what I would like to say about the situation I find that it no longer plagues my thoughts.  Sometimes when I have issues with people in my life, I will write out my points in an essay complete with examples and arguments but then 9 times out of 10 delete it and never send it to them.  It simply helps to get it out of my brain and onto paper.  It works, try it!

So today I was driving to work and encountered a crazy person I thought warranted a blog.  I held my phone in my hand, unlocked it with my code, found mom's name in my "Favorites" list, and called her.  Suddenly I heard repetitive honking so I looked in my rear view mirror and spotted some freak trying to signal to me that I was a DWT (Driving While Texting) offender.  At least that is what I think he was signaling to me; it was either that or he was trying to tell me that he likes to point dramatically at his own hand.  I held up my phone to indicate to crazy man that I was actually talking on the phone rather than texting while driving, which clearly to him is on par with making love to Satan.  This did not satisfy him, he was clearly on a higher mission to make me more distracted and possibly run both of us off of the road.  That is when this guy drives up next to me on my left, rolls down the window on his passenger side and starts spewing language and flailing his arms about, all while driving down the highway at 65 miles per hour.  So dude, at this point you are more distracted by trying to shame me than I would have been had I actually BEEN texting, which I was not.

People, you don't need to be the texting police; that is what the actual police are for.  And to make it worse this dude sped off going about 75 in a 55 ahead of me after he felt he had made his spastic point.  So he was distracted while driving AND speeding but I am the bad guy for calling my mom.  I bet he doesn't even ever call his mom.  I wish that people would mind their own business more often and everything would be more peaceful.  Who is this guy to judge me and what I do in my car?  There are so many things that can distract people while they drive: quieting a screaming or fighting child in the back seat, smoking, eating, talking, singing, sneezing, making phone calls, typing in a GPS, etc.  The police, the law and more importantly citizens have no way to keep everyone from being distracted while driving all of the time.  Being on the highway is dangerous, we all know that, and the best we can do is try to be the most aware we can be all of the time.  For me this includes watching out for people who are distracted and keeping a cautious eye on them.  That being said, please watch out for a guy with crazy eyes in a maroon sedan, license plate DUM-528* driving on 71/75 south in Northern Kentucky...that guy is most likely distracted. 

*I completely made up this license plate number because I didn't want to "distract" myself enough to write down his real one.

Fandom:

One of my favorite “soap box” issues lately stems from my intolerance of rival bickering.  So that I am clear, my motivations behind cheering for my team (my alma mater, UK) have nothing to do with hating UL and everything to do with traditions, family, memories and fun.  I have no interest in wasting my time and energy arguing back and forth about something that will never be settled: which team/school is better.

Please, be a fan of your team, but there is no reason to carry around anger towards other teams and fans.  I’ve said a thousand times, all fans are the same, so why do we have to hate each other?  Prejudice against rival teams’ fans seems to me to be the last socially acceptable form of bigotry (since homophobia seems to be finally mostly taboo.)  I have friends who are UL fans and UC fans and every other kind of fans, and I don’t want them to be sad or to have their feelings hurt. 

I do understand that some people enjoy some “friendly” rival back and forth, but I am definitely not one of them.  I’m not competitive; I don’t like confrontation, so please leave me out of it.  When I cheer for my team I’m not challenging yours or inviting banter.  I’m simply cheering.  There are too many other things to be upset or angry about in life that I don’t need to provoke anger in others over simple fandom. 

Go All The Teams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

 

racism is poo

            Recently there was a story passed around on Facebook about a little white baby girl who was “killed just for being white” in a predominately black neighborhood.  According to the author no one even heard about this child’s death-by-black because the liberal media pushed the story of black teen Treyvon Martin’s death relentlessly.  My mom frequently complains that there is nothing interesting on her Facebook News Feed but when I told her about that posting she proclaimed it to be blatantly racist and was likely then relieved for the quiet nature of her Facebook.

While I agree that the media sensationalizes stories for ratings; I have a hard time understanding how a person couldn’t see that post about the white girl, while sad if true, as nothing but a racist rant.  Do you even understand how many black children and teenagers die in poor neighborhoods every single day?  Do you know how many of their stories are passed over in favor of that of a suburban white girl gone missing for a few hours? 

            I understand that no one really knows what happened between Trayvon and George Zimmerman that tragic night.  But the fact that the media keeps obsessing over the story like some kind of Royal Baby Birth has nothing to do with the ridiculous idea that white news is somehow being repressed.  Look at Casey Anthony, Jaycee Dugard, Anthony Weiner and Jodi Arias, just to name a few.  The news certainly isn’t lacking for white stories or even white news casters.  And even if Trayvon’s story is deemed by some to be overplayed, it doesn’t make it any less sad or worth talking about.  The very fact that it sparked so much racial debate and anger shows that we have a long way to go in this country. 

            My Mom and I also frequently discuss (I love talking to my Mom) the abundance of complaints about having to “push 1 for English” on touch tone phones.  Is this really that much of an inconvenience or is it merely promoting fear in certain white hearts that they might not always be the majority?  I tend to lean towards the latter.  Americans are spoiled in that English is becoming the predominant language across the world.  We don’t have any trouble traveling to non-English speaking countries.  That is because most of the people in those countries learned actual English in high school, as opposed to the 5 words of Spanish we learn in 5 years of Spanish classes in America.  Most Americans have ancestors who spoke zero English when they stepped off of the boat and most of them experienced extreme prejudice just as Hispanic people are facing today.  Irish, Germans and Italians were all accused of “stealing ‘our’ jobs” at the time they immigrated.  Will this cycle ever end?  

            Traveling to NYC a couple of weeks ago I landed at JFK and stepped onto the runway into a maze of tunnels towards the terminal that would confuse even my own grandmother.  Next to me, however, was someone else’s grandmother who didn’t speak a word of English.  Luckily, that sweet lady caught my eye and I helped her navigate through.  I was so grateful for that little bit of Spanish I did retain because I was able to help her find “la maleta” (her suitcase) as well as her grandson who looked as relived as a mother finding a lost child.  This country is huge and full of every different kind of person.  Why can we not embrace our differences as the very thing that makes us beautiful?

I don’t want to fast forward my life nor do I wish that I lived in a different time.  I just wish that I could for a second peek into a future where racism is gone, breathe a sigh or relief and then keep on keepin’ on.  I understand things are better than they used to be and I rarely have to “unfriend” or block people for posts such as this.  But the thing is; I don’t want even a little bit of racism on my Facebook news feed.  It’s kind of like stepping in a little bit of dog poop.  It doesn’t really matter whether you step in a little pile or a big pile of poop; you still have shit on your shoe.

Updates

I would like to apologize to all of my readers (my Mom and a few other friends, I can't even get Cristy to read this sometimes!) for my lack of posting over the past few months.  I am currently working on two separate books in the unlikely event I can get something published in the next year or so.  Yes, I do understand the level of unlikelyhood involved in making money writing.  I would probably be better off running around buying tickets for every lottery in the tri-state.  However, that doesn't require any skill so I am attempting to use this skill I have been developing, the only one I have much confidence in these days. 

In the mean time if anyone has any ideas of how to crack one's way into journalism, publishing or anything related to writing with zero experience or education related to the field, any suggestions would be appreciated.  Lottery tickets received in the mail will be taken as a sign that it is as impossible as I assume it to be.