Feminist Rant

Number one

The local talk radio is a frequent subject of my rants. Why do I continue to listen to it you might ask? I have determined that my brain in the mornings needs talk not music. I am not certain why, perhaps it is like the adult opposite of lullaby’s or something. Anyway, once a week they do a segment called “Jeff Unzipped.”

I’ll give you a minute to process that. Yes, that is what the segment is called where Jeff dishes on his take on male behavior, and I gag every time I hear it come on the air. To make it worse, right after they announce the title you hear a zipping noise. Did you just throw up in your mouth? I thought so.

That being said, Jeff actually gives some good advice the majority of the time despite accidentally belittling women in the process. This was my annoyance this morning, and thus I wrote this rant in my head while I drove all the way to work with angry eyes. You know what I’m talking about, my face looked all grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

He made the comment that “women usually enable each other to stay in bad relationships.” Not all the time, he said, just most of the time. Like putting the caveat that a couple of women are not enabler saps made it not sound bad that he thinks most of them are. He thinks we coddle each other in situations so that we don’t hurt each other’s feelings.

First of all, have you met a woman? I am pretty sure a woman gets her feelings hurt more often than Glen Beck uses a chalk board to link liberals to terrorism. More often than I talk about Disney. You see where I am going with this, pretty much every time a car passes on the freeway, there is a woman somewhere saying something to another woman that hurts her feelings.

When I was going through the abominable back and forth break up with my evil ex, I distinctly remember ALL of my female friends and family members telling me that taking her back was a terrible idea. They all said it in their own way, some subtle and some well, not so subtle. But they all found a way at some point in the shenanigans to advise me that she was not going to change and that I could do better. Even relative strangers were advising me to ditch the bitch. And THANK YOU!

If at some times in my life I have not given someone the advice that they need to hear, it is only because I know that I am not the right person to tell them or I know that they will not heed my advice. Sometimes someone is in a situation with a significant other, and although everyone knows it is the wrong situation, we also know that our friend will not dump said wrong person and thus it is not worth alienating our friend to make our point. Thus it can at times be better to hold off. Not “enabling” just being supportive until the right time presents itself. In my situation the right time came when my ex repeated her offense and I knew what to expect from my friends. Unfortunately I didn’t listen until about the 8th time.

Frequently people will attempt to assign certain characteristics to females or males but we are all too different to be analyzed as a collective. Women are not like fruit, with slight physical differences but all the same on the inside. More like snowflakes, similar basic form but all so different and beautiful. Some will give advice, some will hold off, some will scream it in your face while taking your phone away from you so you can’t text someone.

I have tried very hard not to generalize about men while I rant about Jeff generalizing about women…did it work?

Number two

I hate the Mike guy on Top Chef. On top of the constant testosterone fueled competitiveness he displays weekly, last night he made an annoying comment. “She is one of the top female chefs in the country.” Why “Female,” why not just one of the top chefs? Douche bag….I hope he loses.