Contribution to a Pawn Shop

To protect myself from liability we will call the criminal in this story “C.” Although C is such an inept criminal he decided to steal from someone who just enrolled him in college. Someone who because of that fact has his address, date of birth, phone numbers, social security number, email address, mom’s name and mom’s email address. I’m just sayin….

I frequently meet with students who display characteristics similar to C. Been in trouble with the law, quiet, ask the same questions twice, head outside to their car to smoke frequently, cant follow simple instructions like “wait for me here.” However in retrospect these things were warning signs of what would happen at my desk.

Many admissions representatives had attempted to get C to come in for a campus visit in the past, including myself. He had no-showed quite a few times so when I called him yesterday I was surprised to hear him say that he wanted to come in that very day and that he was so sorry he missed his last appointment. (He was probably busy stealing cars and punching old ladies in the face.)

C made quite a few excuses to go out to his car through the interview and enrollment process and I assumed it was to smoke. He might have been smoking something other than cigarettes because he frequently would ask the same questions more than once. After my Director met with C, I left him at my desk so I could go make copies and let Financial Aid know that he would be coming over to sit with them. I left C at my desk, with my iphone plugged in on the right hand side and my purse sitting in the cabinet unlocked. While most everything else after this point went incredibly badly for poor C, this opportunity was perfect and he took the phone. I have left that phone plugged in on my desk in front of every student who has ever come to meet with me, so I suppose this was bound to happen but I am simply shocked by C’s actions. How in the world is the likely $20 profit from the phone worth the moral implications of theft against someone who has been so helpful!? I mean, he indicated he was hungry and I brought him Pizza from Orientation for God’s sake!!! I felt like Giselle in Enchanted when she sits down all sweet and cuddly with that old man on the street and he smiles then takes her tiara off her head and runs away. “You…..Are not a very nice old man!!”

While C met with Financial Aid to size up David’s cubicle for more possible loot, I was back at my desk looking for my phone. I quickly determined that I hadn’t taken it anywhere, it was not at the desk and therefore C had taken it. My Director went with me to the FA office, and from the cube next to David’s we called my phone. Now the phone was on silent but I was hoping I could hear it buzz. Oh was I ever in luck, not only did it buzz, but C, being the not so savvy criminal that he is, pulled the thing out of his pocket to silence the buzzing. All this I witnessed as I casually walked by!! So now I had the evidence but needed to determine my move.

The Director of the school advised that we could not accuse him (even though it was IN HIS HANDS) so I walked back over and simply asked him if he accidentally picked the phone up. Well now I have never seen someone’s eyes expand to the circumference that his did at that moment. He is lucky those things didn’t pop right out of his head while he answered that no, he just had his own phone. This is when he pulled his own phone out of the pocket that my phone had been in when I walked by. So C must have panicked when he saw me stroll by and decided the best way to not get busted was to simply move the phone to a different pocket.

At this point I realized that I was actually going to have to let this punk walk out the door and go home with my phone and there was nothing what so ever I could do about it. Off he went into the horizon, the proud owner of my cute little iphone with all my PETA and Disney apps in its case that my friend Becca gave me. I knew I would never see it again and was already dreading the craptastic flip phone from 1989 I would have to buy to replace it because I can not bring myself to buy a new iphone at retail!

As soon as C walked out of the building, my phone started going to voicemail when everyone called it. I guess he didn’t want to talk to my friends, how rude. Cristy came up to the school to assist in the investigation but more to prevent the melt down she predicted over this phone situation. We called the police and had my service suspended on the phone. When the police man (I am going to call him Frank but in reality I didn’t get his name which I feel really badly about because I would like to write him a thank you letter) arrived I gave him the whole story along with all of the contact information that we had for C. Frank called C’s home phone, where C lives with his Mom, so his Mom answered the call. Mom gave Frank C’s cell phone number so we could call him on that line. So guys, get this, C ANSWERED the phone and spoke to Frank! It was unbelievable. The conversation went something like this:

Frank: “I want you to think very carefully about how you answer this question because the consequences could be severe. Did you accidentally pick up a cell phone when you visited Brown Mackie College today?”

C: “Yes, I did.”

Frank: “Bring the phone back up to the school now and you will not get in trouble.”

C: “Ok, I was already on my way to bring it back, but I am scared because I don’t want to have to see Ann.” (GUILT!)

Frank: “Well dude, you are just going to have to man-up and do it.”


Well of course I assumed he was just trying to get Frank off the phone, but maybe, just maybe, he would bring that phone back to me!! We waited, we paced, we took bets, we examined every car that came into the parking lot (by the way, sorry to the chick that was picking up her boyfriend from classes, you probably felt uncomfortable when you pulled up and two girls and a cop pointed and studied your car and demeanor wondering if you were C’s girlfriend sent in his place. That must have been awkward.)

Soon enough, lo and behold C drove up with my phone, got out of his car, and handed that thing right back to me!! I couldn’t believe it. He apologized for the “accident” because my phone “fell into his books” of which he had none, and said he thought my phone was his, even though he then had two phones. Whatever, I thanked him for bringing it back and we watched him walk off muttering with his head down about how he felt so stupid. Yeah, buddy, I bet you do.

To make this story even funnier (funny now, not funny then. Actually it was even kind of funny then) C’s reason for signing up for the Business Program at our college is so that he and his buddy can open up their own Pawn Shop! So one could say that he was simply stocking inventory, not stealing.

It remains to be seen whether C will show up for Financial Aid and Orientation tomorrow. With all the phone hubbub I forgot to remind him about his appointments, silly me.