Leave Me Alone While I Read
It seems that some people believe that when they see someone reading a book alone then that person must be sad and waiting for someone to initiate conversation. On the contrary, I actually enjoy reading! That is why I continue to buy these square things with pages in them off of Amazon, not because I confused them with the movie version. Or even when I am sitting alone thinking, pausing in my reading to stare at the grass and mull over recent events in my life, I wonder if people think that I am lonely. Sometimes I wish I could wear a sign on my head that says “Alone but not lonely.” Or maybe I will craft a fake book cover so that when someone wanders over to ask me what I am reading, I can hold it up and say “it’s called Leave Me Alone While I Read.” I know that people try to be friendly at work and perhaps they like to be interrupted while reading their US Weekly so that they can discuss Heidi Montag’s boob job. However I don’t enjoy being plucked out of New York, or Oz, or whatever setting I am enjoying in my book to talk about how it’s hot out. Yep, and it was hot yesterday, and probably some day in the future it will be hot, again. Neither the weather, your frozen lunch entrée, or the details of your out of work boyfriend’s night out last night, is as interesting as Lisbeth Salander’s life. So, unless you are already my friend, then I wish to continue reading, and the fact that I didn’t lift my eyes from the pages of my book to answer your question about the rain should have indicated that. Too bad it’s only my friends who read my blog but at least I had the opportunity to vent…
Monday, May 24, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Today
Today is the first day of the rest of my life, I can do anything that I want to do, and I promise myself that today is the last day I will cry over you...
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Frustrations in Admissions Chapter 3
Frustrations in Admissions
Chapter 3 – Hang Ups
As an admissions representative I get hung up on, on a daily basis. Today it happened when I was trying to secure an appointment for a prospective student to come in and visit the campus. “Does Kaplan sound like what you are looking for?” “Yes.” “The campus visit will accomplish A, B and C. Does that sound like something you would like to do?” “Yes.” “Awesome, what does your schedule look like…..” Click.
I don’t understand what the hang up accomplishes. As of now this prospective student has no concept of the amount of times I am willing to call him back, effectively harassing him to the point of questionable legality. So why not just tell me that he is not interested?
I will tell you why, he is concerned that as a sales person, I have some persuasive voodoo magic that will force him to sign papers, take out loans and sit in class like a zombie for 2 years. I must have that mutant ability (X-Men style) to control his very thoughts and actions, so he is going to quickly cutoff my mind control while he still has his own facilities. You know as in the old Sci-Fi classic “Attack of the Mind Altering Giant Admissions Representatives from Mars.”
The worst is the double hang up. Usually when I am hung up on mid-conversation then I will call right back to give myself the satisfaction of leaving a strongly worded voice mail suggesting that surely we were just disconnected and I would appreciate a call back. That’s when I sometimes get the pick up and hang up. Ahhh! You just denied me my revenge! Don’t worry though, I will call 125 more times to bother you until you can no longer take it and are reduced to singing Lady Gaga in fetal position in a corner: “Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore!” I would be surprised if most of these students end up running out of minutes on their crappy phone plan solely from listening to my voice mails.
Sometimes I will reach a prospective student who is so afraid of talking to me and my super powers that they will tell me that they are very busy at that time, and ask that I call back at another specific time. “Please call me back in 20 minutes.” Essentially so that they can note my phone number and not answer in 20 minutes, or ever again. Why not just tell me that they are not interested? “I am not interested” takes less time than arranging another call time!!
Again, I think that many times the prospective student wants to believe that they are going to go to school, wants to think that by requesting information that was all they have to do to feel better about not having started college, but they cant find it in themselves to take any further steps. It is therefore my job to use my super powers for good rather than evil, and try to find ways to motivate them. Suggestions will be noted from friends…
Chapter 3 – Hang Ups
As an admissions representative I get hung up on, on a daily basis. Today it happened when I was trying to secure an appointment for a prospective student to come in and visit the campus. “Does Kaplan sound like what you are looking for?” “Yes.” “The campus visit will accomplish A, B and C. Does that sound like something you would like to do?” “Yes.” “Awesome, what does your schedule look like…..” Click.
I don’t understand what the hang up accomplishes. As of now this prospective student has no concept of the amount of times I am willing to call him back, effectively harassing him to the point of questionable legality. So why not just tell me that he is not interested?
I will tell you why, he is concerned that as a sales person, I have some persuasive voodoo magic that will force him to sign papers, take out loans and sit in class like a zombie for 2 years. I must have that mutant ability (X-Men style) to control his very thoughts and actions, so he is going to quickly cutoff my mind control while he still has his own facilities. You know as in the old Sci-Fi classic “Attack of the Mind Altering Giant Admissions Representatives from Mars.”
The worst is the double hang up. Usually when I am hung up on mid-conversation then I will call right back to give myself the satisfaction of leaving a strongly worded voice mail suggesting that surely we were just disconnected and I would appreciate a call back. That’s when I sometimes get the pick up and hang up. Ahhh! You just denied me my revenge! Don’t worry though, I will call 125 more times to bother you until you can no longer take it and are reduced to singing Lady Gaga in fetal position in a corner: “Stop callin', stop callin', I don't wanna think anymore!” I would be surprised if most of these students end up running out of minutes on their crappy phone plan solely from listening to my voice mails.
Sometimes I will reach a prospective student who is so afraid of talking to me and my super powers that they will tell me that they are very busy at that time, and ask that I call back at another specific time. “Please call me back in 20 minutes.” Essentially so that they can note my phone number and not answer in 20 minutes, or ever again. Why not just tell me that they are not interested? “I am not interested” takes less time than arranging another call time!!
Again, I think that many times the prospective student wants to believe that they are going to go to school, wants to think that by requesting information that was all they have to do to feel better about not having started college, but they cant find it in themselves to take any further steps. It is therefore my job to use my super powers for good rather than evil, and try to find ways to motivate them. Suggestions will be noted from friends…
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Frustrations in Admissions
Frustrations in Admissions
Chapter 2 – “I can not make it to my appointment because….”
At ITT Tech we had started a running list of the most annoying excuses as to why prospective students could not make it in for their scheduled college visit.
The end-all be-all of excuses is “I had a family emergency.” Well as my good friend Nicole likes to say “no you didn’t.” But of course I can’t say that to the student so the next best thing is “oh, I am so sorry, what happened?” Silence – busted, you didn’t expect me to probe further!? You were thinking that you gave me the ultimate, most cleverly devised encrypted excuse. You expected me to throw up my hands in embarrassment that I even called you to find out why you no-showed me for the third time this week, and that I should bow down in apology, never to bother you with another phone call. Usually all the students come up with is “it’s personal” so I am left to invent possible scenarios of family emergencies that could have arisen and rendered the person unable to come invest one hour in their future. Family car squashed by dinosaur, so didn’t have transportation – naw, I would have seen that on the news. Discovered family tree has links to Hitler and so had to stay home and debate attending school with ethnic minorities – too simple an explanation. Most likely daughter stubbed toe, perfect excuse not to go in for my college visit, or Family Feud was on TV and was too exciting to consider leaving the couch.
Kira had a student who scheduled an appointment and when he proceeded to no-show she followed up with him efficiently. Upon finally reaching him he had a tragic story to tell. Remember the little boy on the news who was shot and killed downtown by a stray bullet? That was this student’s own brother! Kira, being the kind hearted person she is, expressed much concern, as did we all when we heard the sad tale. However, as Kira will also tell you, she “was born at night but it wasn’t last night,” so she proceeded to do some investigative work. Turns out the poor boy didn’t have any siblings. Lying about a dead relative, people do this every day, but a dead kid who has a real family who is actually grieving his death? That is a new low. Of course we had to call him out on it so he hung up on Kira when she tried to lecture him. The first of many lectures, classroom or otherwise, that he avoided by skipping out on his college education.
Rain, snow, wind, hunger, fights, pain, cousin’s friend had a baby, I have heard them all. Many times out of frustration with their own inability to make it in to the school they will demand that they be admitted to college without making a visit first. Really? How do you expect to succeed in college if you can’t even get off your butt to come find the place first? One guy did not have bus fare and didn’t want to walk (three blocks) in the cold so he spent 10 minutes arguing that I should come to his house to tell him about the programs. First of all, we don’t do that, second of all I do not look forward to being locked in your basement for 3 days.
I try to give these people the benefit of the doubt. I do realize that they are likely frustrated with their own inability to change their lives, and so they truly do believe that they will show up for that appointment that I scheduled with them. When they don’t move forward with it, whether the real reason is fear, laziness, apprehension, it is simply easier to make up an excuse. I just wish they would be more creative. Your dad turned into the Hulk, stole your car and rammed it into a fire hydrant which flooded the street and consequently every pair of shoes you own was washed away, rendering you unable to walk here? Now that is a good excuse
Chapter 2 – “I can not make it to my appointment because….”
At ITT Tech we had started a running list of the most annoying excuses as to why prospective students could not make it in for their scheduled college visit.
The end-all be-all of excuses is “I had a family emergency.” Well as my good friend Nicole likes to say “no you didn’t.” But of course I can’t say that to the student so the next best thing is “oh, I am so sorry, what happened?” Silence – busted, you didn’t expect me to probe further!? You were thinking that you gave me the ultimate, most cleverly devised encrypted excuse. You expected me to throw up my hands in embarrassment that I even called you to find out why you no-showed me for the third time this week, and that I should bow down in apology, never to bother you with another phone call. Usually all the students come up with is “it’s personal” so I am left to invent possible scenarios of family emergencies that could have arisen and rendered the person unable to come invest one hour in their future. Family car squashed by dinosaur, so didn’t have transportation – naw, I would have seen that on the news. Discovered family tree has links to Hitler and so had to stay home and debate attending school with ethnic minorities – too simple an explanation. Most likely daughter stubbed toe, perfect excuse not to go in for my college visit, or Family Feud was on TV and was too exciting to consider leaving the couch.
Kira had a student who scheduled an appointment and when he proceeded to no-show she followed up with him efficiently. Upon finally reaching him he had a tragic story to tell. Remember the little boy on the news who was shot and killed downtown by a stray bullet? That was this student’s own brother! Kira, being the kind hearted person she is, expressed much concern, as did we all when we heard the sad tale. However, as Kira will also tell you, she “was born at night but it wasn’t last night,” so she proceeded to do some investigative work. Turns out the poor boy didn’t have any siblings. Lying about a dead relative, people do this every day, but a dead kid who has a real family who is actually grieving his death? That is a new low. Of course we had to call him out on it so he hung up on Kira when she tried to lecture him. The first of many lectures, classroom or otherwise, that he avoided by skipping out on his college education.
Rain, snow, wind, hunger, fights, pain, cousin’s friend had a baby, I have heard them all. Many times out of frustration with their own inability to make it in to the school they will demand that they be admitted to college without making a visit first. Really? How do you expect to succeed in college if you can’t even get off your butt to come find the place first? One guy did not have bus fare and didn’t want to walk (three blocks) in the cold so he spent 10 minutes arguing that I should come to his house to tell him about the programs. First of all, we don’t do that, second of all I do not look forward to being locked in your basement for 3 days.
I try to give these people the benefit of the doubt. I do realize that they are likely frustrated with their own inability to change their lives, and so they truly do believe that they will show up for that appointment that I scheduled with them. When they don’t move forward with it, whether the real reason is fear, laziness, apprehension, it is simply easier to make up an excuse. I just wish they would be more creative. Your dad turned into the Hulk, stole your car and rammed it into a fire hydrant which flooded the street and consequently every pair of shoes you own was washed away, rendering you unable to walk here? Now that is a good excuse
Friday, May 7, 2010
Celebrities
I used to be able to easliy appease my jealous feelings towards celebrities and their wealth by reminding myself that most celebrities have issues of their own and numerous failed relationships. I, on the other hand, had a wonderful, lasting relationship which made me happy every day.
...Now I wish I was a celebrity again.
...Now I wish I was a celebrity again.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Frustrations in Admissions - Chapter 1
Frustrations in Admissions
Chapter 1 – “Send me a brochure”
I have entitled this piece “Chapter 1” because I am confident that I will come across sufficient material over my remaining time in admissions to warrant additional chapters.
The whole point of the admissions phone call is to convince prospective students to come in for a college visit where we sell them the benefits of the college education. This has been engrained in my subconscious, however I do recognize the usefulness of the visit beyond the necessity in closing the sale.
Frequently I will encounter a prospective student who is immune to my questioning strategies, answering with one word answers. “Why don’t I use open ended questions,” the experienced sales person might ask? Oh, but I do!
“What has you interested in Medical Assisting?”
“I like it.”
“What do you like about it?”
“I don’t know.”
“What are you looking for in a college?”
“The best.”
“What would make a college the best?”
“I don’t know.”
Trying to close these friendly folks down to an appointment is like trying to get my dog to stop nudging me with her tennis ball. Its not going to happen and we both end up frustrated. So inevitably the prospective student is going to ask for a brochure.
Why did you even waste your time calling in or signing up for information if you are going to request a brochure? What could a brochure possibly tell you about a school that you don’t know already? It will contain a brief overview of the program and a picture of a smiling student wearing their backpack in a sunny courtyard. Yeah, that fake student is a model and doesn’t go here, and I might as well send you a piece of toilet paper with my business card stapled to it. At least that might spark some curiosity and show that we have well stocked bathrooms.
Do you know the likelihood of a student who requests a brochure actually starting school? As likely as me actually sending toilet paper to a student in the mail. I will call that student in a week to see if they got the bath tissue, I mean brochure and will either
a.) call and call until someone finally answers and tells me to stop calling; or b.) they will tell me that they are still looking over the information and will get back to me.
Still looking over it? It is a one page brochure with less information than the back of a shampoo bottle. If you still haven’t finished reading it then I really doubt that you would be able to find your way to our school, much less pass our assessment test!
But I will politely tell them thank you and I will look forward to hearing from them. In reality I will look forward to hearing from their answering machine and crappy ring back tone, but that could take us into chapter 2. To be continued….
Chapter 1 – “Send me a brochure”
I have entitled this piece “Chapter 1” because I am confident that I will come across sufficient material over my remaining time in admissions to warrant additional chapters.
The whole point of the admissions phone call is to convince prospective students to come in for a college visit where we sell them the benefits of the college education. This has been engrained in my subconscious, however I do recognize the usefulness of the visit beyond the necessity in closing the sale.
Frequently I will encounter a prospective student who is immune to my questioning strategies, answering with one word answers. “Why don’t I use open ended questions,” the experienced sales person might ask? Oh, but I do!
“What has you interested in Medical Assisting?”
“I like it.”
“What do you like about it?”
“I don’t know.”
“What are you looking for in a college?”
“The best.”
“What would make a college the best?”
“I don’t know.”
Trying to close these friendly folks down to an appointment is like trying to get my dog to stop nudging me with her tennis ball. Its not going to happen and we both end up frustrated. So inevitably the prospective student is going to ask for a brochure.
Why did you even waste your time calling in or signing up for information if you are going to request a brochure? What could a brochure possibly tell you about a school that you don’t know already? It will contain a brief overview of the program and a picture of a smiling student wearing their backpack in a sunny courtyard. Yeah, that fake student is a model and doesn’t go here, and I might as well send you a piece of toilet paper with my business card stapled to it. At least that might spark some curiosity and show that we have well stocked bathrooms.
Do you know the likelihood of a student who requests a brochure actually starting school? As likely as me actually sending toilet paper to a student in the mail. I will call that student in a week to see if they got the bath tissue, I mean brochure and will either
a.) call and call until someone finally answers and tells me to stop calling; or b.) they will tell me that they are still looking over the information and will get back to me.
Still looking over it? It is a one page brochure with less information than the back of a shampoo bottle. If you still haven’t finished reading it then I really doubt that you would be able to find your way to our school, much less pass our assessment test!
But I will politely tell them thank you and I will look forward to hearing from them. In reality I will look forward to hearing from their answering machine and crappy ring back tone, but that could take us into chapter 2. To be continued….
Sugarland said it best...
i can't take it any longer
but my will is getting stronger
and i think i know just what i have to do
i can't waste another minute
after all that i've put in it
i've given you my best why does she get the best of you
so the next time you find
you wanna leave her bed for mine
why dont you stay
im up off my knees
im so tired of being lonely
you cant give me what i need
when she begs you not to go
there is one thing you should know
i dont have to live this way
baby why dont you stay
but my will is getting stronger
and i think i know just what i have to do
i can't waste another minute
after all that i've put in it
i've given you my best why does she get the best of you
so the next time you find
you wanna leave her bed for mine
why dont you stay
im up off my knees
im so tired of being lonely
you cant give me what i need
when she begs you not to go
there is one thing you should know
i dont have to live this way
baby why dont you stay
Monday, May 3, 2010
Meet The Londons
Meet the London’s
At the conclusion of another emotional day I caught the end of “Meet the Robinson’s” last night. An often overlooked however excellent Disney movie, I wondered once again why I don’t own the DVD. I know, you are probably shocked that there is ANYTHING Disney that I don’t own, but there are a few!
The story is that of a young orphan genius named Lewis, who is brought forward via time machine to his adulthood so that he can help his future son and family out of a dangerous situation. I am not sure why this movie was not as big of a hit as some of the other animated features. Perhaps its plot is a little confusing for children, but it never fails to make me laugh throughout and then cry in the ending. (I swear I don’t cry in every Disney movie every time, just some of them, so no poking fun, Paul!)
Apparently at some point in Future Lewis’ distinguished career, he invented a robot helper top-hat, which is too intelligent and escapes to wreak havoc. Throughout his journey to remedy this problem, Lewis frequently gets frustrated by mistakes or setbacks, but his son reminds him of Adult Lewis’ own motto “Keep Moving Forward.” It turns out that Lewis’ eclectic and eccentric family is comprised of people he has met throughout his life who were positive additions so he kept them close. The family who lives in his mansion is made up of his parents, crazy uncle, his frog-training wife, kids and many others who needed a place to fit in, but also encourage Lewis in his pursuits.
In our lives we meet thousands of people and call many people friends, but sometimes friends become our family. Whether they are people who we eventually marry so they join our family officially, or they are simply the friend whose shoulder we cry on and whose hand we grasp to keep from crumbling into despair, those people are our family. Those friends in whose eyes I see genuine concern and interest in my happiness are part of a larger family for me, and I pray that I am there for them the way that they need me to be. Not only was I blessed with an amazing biological family full of individuals who love me and tell me so every day, I also have the circle of friends who envelop me with additional support. They ensure that whatever happens in my life, I will never be alone.
Just as Lewis eventually chose people who would support him and provide a home full of positive energy and encouragement, I believe it is best for me to try to do the same. Other people’s negative energy and feelings can bring us down, and they are not people who we should be spending our valuable time with. Even at work we have a choice as to who we spend time with and allow into our lives on a deeper level.
Lewis eventually comes to realize that his young self needs to focus on the good in his life rather than the negative, and “Keep Moving Forward” into the future because he will make his own family and his own happiness.
The movie ends with a song and then a quote from Walt Disney himself.
let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know,
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and I don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
all of my regret
will wash away some how
but I can not forget
the way I feel right now
in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain
“Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long.
We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious.....And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
-Walt Disney
At the conclusion of another emotional day I caught the end of “Meet the Robinson’s” last night. An often overlooked however excellent Disney movie, I wondered once again why I don’t own the DVD. I know, you are probably shocked that there is ANYTHING Disney that I don’t own, but there are a few!
The story is that of a young orphan genius named Lewis, who is brought forward via time machine to his adulthood so that he can help his future son and family out of a dangerous situation. I am not sure why this movie was not as big of a hit as some of the other animated features. Perhaps its plot is a little confusing for children, but it never fails to make me laugh throughout and then cry in the ending. (I swear I don’t cry in every Disney movie every time, just some of them, so no poking fun, Paul!)
Apparently at some point in Future Lewis’ distinguished career, he invented a robot helper top-hat, which is too intelligent and escapes to wreak havoc. Throughout his journey to remedy this problem, Lewis frequently gets frustrated by mistakes or setbacks, but his son reminds him of Adult Lewis’ own motto “Keep Moving Forward.” It turns out that Lewis’ eclectic and eccentric family is comprised of people he has met throughout his life who were positive additions so he kept them close. The family who lives in his mansion is made up of his parents, crazy uncle, his frog-training wife, kids and many others who needed a place to fit in, but also encourage Lewis in his pursuits.
In our lives we meet thousands of people and call many people friends, but sometimes friends become our family. Whether they are people who we eventually marry so they join our family officially, or they are simply the friend whose shoulder we cry on and whose hand we grasp to keep from crumbling into despair, those people are our family. Those friends in whose eyes I see genuine concern and interest in my happiness are part of a larger family for me, and I pray that I am there for them the way that they need me to be. Not only was I blessed with an amazing biological family full of individuals who love me and tell me so every day, I also have the circle of friends who envelop me with additional support. They ensure that whatever happens in my life, I will never be alone.
Just as Lewis eventually chose people who would support him and provide a home full of positive energy and encouragement, I believe it is best for me to try to do the same. Other people’s negative energy and feelings can bring us down, and they are not people who we should be spending our valuable time with. Even at work we have a choice as to who we spend time with and allow into our lives on a deeper level.
Lewis eventually comes to realize that his young self needs to focus on the good in his life rather than the negative, and “Keep Moving Forward” into the future because he will make his own family and his own happiness.
The movie ends with a song and then a quote from Walt Disney himself.
let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know,
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and I don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end
our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain
all of my regret
will wash away some how
but I can not forget
the way I feel right now
in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain
“Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long.
We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious.....And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
-Walt Disney
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