When did the use of the turning signal become optional? This seemingly obvious safety and courtesy precaution when driving has become a rarity. Be it due to laziness or self centeredness I can not understand why people don’t utilize this simple tool.
Usually even when drivers do signal it is simply way too late to be effective. The turning signal ceases to be useful when it is employed AFTER the car is already turning. The sequence of events should go as follows: Spot the upcoming place you would like to turn, turn on the turning signal (Up for right, Down for left,) begin slowing down, turn. It is NOT appropriate to slam on your brakes, begin to turn and then turn on the signal. That is the incorrect sequence of events and the signal is useless except to let you as the driver listen to the turning signal ticking noise.
I love it when someone flicks you off or honks at you for neglecting to let them over when that particular person did not have their signal on to alert you of their intentions to merge. This has led me to become an overly defensive driver, constantly trying to interpret someone’s glance at their mirror or slight movement toward my lane. Being forced to play the “Are they coming over?” game is maddening!!
It’s too bad that everyone isn’t required to have one of those “Tell me how I am driving” Stickers on their car, complete with their cell phone number. I am confident people would be much more likely to pay attention to what they are doing if that were the case!
Let me send caution to the drivers reading this who have neglected your turning signal and plan on using it from now on: Just because you put on the turning signal, that does not automatically give you the right to turn. If there is a car in the way, or it is someone ELSE’S turn to turn at a stop sign, please kindly let them pass first. The turning signal does not give you the all powerful ability to turn as you please, contrary to popular belief.....
Next Chapter: License plate covers – Why are they necessary or legal?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Letter to Walt Disney
Dear Walt,
I know it would never have worked out between us because you are dead, and well, Im gay. But I would love to name my child after you...if Cristy will allow it.
If not, well then I promise to visit your parks every time it is financially possible without damaging my childrens' ability to attend college. OK?
Love forever,
Ann
I know it would never have worked out between us because you are dead, and well, Im gay. But I would love to name my child after you...if Cristy will allow it.
If not, well then I promise to visit your parks every time it is financially possible without damaging my childrens' ability to attend college. OK?
Love forever,
Ann
Monday, May 23, 2011
Don’t Say Gay
According to many organizations’ Firewalls “Gay” is a bad word, in that you can not search for phrases with the word gay lest you set off the firewall security blocker. (This happened to me recently when I searched for Gay Pride in order to find out how to get my employer a publicity booth on the day of the parade.) But now apparently Gay is also a naughty word in Tennessee, as they are working on legislation barring schools from discussing gay historical figures or implying that gay people exist.
One of the biggest arguments against children knowing that gay is a thing (not an insult used to make fun of something that is effeminate or silly) is that children do not know what sex is so they shouldn’t be exposed to the concept of gayness. This argument was used by a “Concerned Women’s Group” against the widely popular use of the “It Gets Better” Campaign and its commercials during prime time television.
I agree that children should not be told about sex until they are mature enough to understand it fully and take on the responsibility that comes with that knowledge. However does that prevent us from allowing them to see heterosexual couples together holding hands? Does it prevent them from being shown straight couples kiss on TV, or from knowing that their parents are a couple? Of course not.
The first thing that people think of when they see a heterosexual couple is usually not sex. However gay people don’t typically have that luxury. Many people, upon seeing a homosexual couple, automatically start thinking about what that couple does in the sack. Like that quote from Philadelphia, Denzel’s character says “That is what this is about, that is what we are all thinking about here, who does what to whom and how they do it.” So in my mind people who assume that kids will equate gayness with sex are simply putting their own judgments onto those children. Children’s awareness of gay people does not mean that they have to know what happens between those people in the bedroom. Sex is a small part of every gay person’s life, not the thing that defines us as who we are.
People will continue to try to wrap their prejudices up and pretend they are something else, but I and many others like me will continue to unwrap those prejudices and show them for what they are.
GAY, GAY, GAY, there I said it, and next time I drive through Tennessee on my way to Florida I am going to make my car into a giant sign that says “Gay, It’s a real thing.”
One of the biggest arguments against children knowing that gay is a thing (not an insult used to make fun of something that is effeminate or silly) is that children do not know what sex is so they shouldn’t be exposed to the concept of gayness. This argument was used by a “Concerned Women’s Group” against the widely popular use of the “It Gets Better” Campaign and its commercials during prime time television.
I agree that children should not be told about sex until they are mature enough to understand it fully and take on the responsibility that comes with that knowledge. However does that prevent us from allowing them to see heterosexual couples together holding hands? Does it prevent them from being shown straight couples kiss on TV, or from knowing that their parents are a couple? Of course not.
The first thing that people think of when they see a heterosexual couple is usually not sex. However gay people don’t typically have that luxury. Many people, upon seeing a homosexual couple, automatically start thinking about what that couple does in the sack. Like that quote from Philadelphia, Denzel’s character says “That is what this is about, that is what we are all thinking about here, who does what to whom and how they do it.” So in my mind people who assume that kids will equate gayness with sex are simply putting their own judgments onto those children. Children’s awareness of gay people does not mean that they have to know what happens between those people in the bedroom. Sex is a small part of every gay person’s life, not the thing that defines us as who we are.
People will continue to try to wrap their prejudices up and pretend they are something else, but I and many others like me will continue to unwrap those prejudices and show them for what they are.
GAY, GAY, GAY, there I said it, and next time I drive through Tennessee on my way to Florida I am going to make my car into a giant sign that says “Gay, It’s a real thing.”
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Muppet Night
On watching Muppets Take Manhattan:
Me: I love that they are able to convince us that people would accept frogs and pigs and animals walking around speaking English and producing musicals or going to college.
Cristy: They would accept it in Sweden, they accept everything there...
Me: I love that they are able to convince us that people would accept frogs and pigs and animals walking around speaking English and producing musicals or going to college.
Cristy: They would accept it in Sweden, they accept everything there...
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Stages of Working Out
The stages of working out:
1. I feel disgusting, I think my blood pressure probably sucks, MUST start working out this very day. If I put it off one more day by making excuses then I no longer qualify as a person with ANY single bit of will power.
2. Join the gym....again. Feel regular gym goers snickering from their machines and wonder what the gym workers are saying behind my fat back. Pay application fee, credit card run fee, restart fee, activation fee and a fee for that watery stuff you spray the machines with.
3. Work out. AAAAHHHHhhhh! I love working out! Working out is the best of all the bestest things I can do! I feel so great afterwards and I have so much motivation!! Why don’t I work out all the time? I feel like a Greek god on steroids who drank five Red Bulls and knows how to fly!!
4. Two weeks into consistently working out. Start to be judgmental towards the people in the Taco Bell drive through as I wiz past them still sweaty from my awesome work out. Have lots more energy so I probably bounce when I walk (is that annoying?)
5. Stage 5 – start to hate the smell of the gym and the people who look way better than me in their workout clothes. Begin forcing myself through the motions and skipping some of the weight machines. See repeats of movies in the workout theater room and curse the club for playing the same movie more than one time.
6. Stage 6 – here come the excuses. I can’t go to the gym tonight because I had such a crappy work day that I know I wont be motivated. Will go tomorrow. Tonight I am going to find someone to go out and have drinks with who I haven’t seen in a while - PERFECT excuse…that person missed me horribly. My toe hurts so I can’t go to the gym. Glee is on tonight (DVR’ed) but still…can’t go. Post on Facebook – does ANYONE want to go get drinks tonight??!!!! Yay, someone does and I don’t have to go to the gym!!!! You see where this goes.
7. This is the beginning of the end of the gym going – I am starting to feel guilty for paying for the gym because my butt never ever goes there. I am not even quite sure how to get there and forget I belong until I see the money come out of my checking account.
Back to stage 1 – I feel disgusting.
I must find a way to break this cycle. I am currently verging on stage 6 and DO NOT want to get there so I need suggestions. I have a very personal reason for being motivated and that is keeping the Stage 6 excuses out of my subconscious, but I can feel them sitting there like little nasty, fat, lazy, taco bell eating monsters, just waiting for a moment of weakness. So any additional advice is appreciated!!!
1. I feel disgusting, I think my blood pressure probably sucks, MUST start working out this very day. If I put it off one more day by making excuses then I no longer qualify as a person with ANY single bit of will power.
2. Join the gym....again. Feel regular gym goers snickering from their machines and wonder what the gym workers are saying behind my fat back. Pay application fee, credit card run fee, restart fee, activation fee and a fee for that watery stuff you spray the machines with.
3. Work out. AAAAHHHHhhhh! I love working out! Working out is the best of all the bestest things I can do! I feel so great afterwards and I have so much motivation!! Why don’t I work out all the time? I feel like a Greek god on steroids who drank five Red Bulls and knows how to fly!!
4. Two weeks into consistently working out. Start to be judgmental towards the people in the Taco Bell drive through as I wiz past them still sweaty from my awesome work out. Have lots more energy so I probably bounce when I walk (is that annoying?)
5. Stage 5 – start to hate the smell of the gym and the people who look way better than me in their workout clothes. Begin forcing myself through the motions and skipping some of the weight machines. See repeats of movies in the workout theater room and curse the club for playing the same movie more than one time.
6. Stage 6 – here come the excuses. I can’t go to the gym tonight because I had such a crappy work day that I know I wont be motivated. Will go tomorrow. Tonight I am going to find someone to go out and have drinks with who I haven’t seen in a while - PERFECT excuse…that person missed me horribly. My toe hurts so I can’t go to the gym. Glee is on tonight (DVR’ed) but still…can’t go. Post on Facebook – does ANYONE want to go get drinks tonight??!!!! Yay, someone does and I don’t have to go to the gym!!!! You see where this goes.
7. This is the beginning of the end of the gym going – I am starting to feel guilty for paying for the gym because my butt never ever goes there. I am not even quite sure how to get there and forget I belong until I see the money come out of my checking account.
Back to stage 1 – I feel disgusting.
I must find a way to break this cycle. I am currently verging on stage 6 and DO NOT want to get there so I need suggestions. I have a very personal reason for being motivated and that is keeping the Stage 6 excuses out of my subconscious, but I can feel them sitting there like little nasty, fat, lazy, taco bell eating monsters, just waiting for a moment of weakness. So any additional advice is appreciated!!!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Angry Wife
So the funniest thing happened on a phone call at work today!
I had called an older lead, a guy named Danny. I called the first number he had supplied and left a message for Danny Jr, based on the voice mail. Then I attempted to reach him on the second number but did not leave a message on that one.
A couple of seconds later I get a return call back from that second number. People cant STAND it when you call and don't leave a message, the curiosity just eats and eats at them until they finally call back. It is great because I can see the number they are calling me from so I know who it is. I answer with "Hello, this is Ann" so that they don't know it is Brown Mackie (otherwise it's an immediate hang up.) They stumble, wonder if they know an "Ann" and then answer with "I must have dialed the wrong number." Now this is the fun part, this is when I say, "oh, is this _______?" They are shocked, SHOCKED that I busted them in their lie. See, see I KNOW that they didnt dial the wrong number, they simply returned my call and they are now trying to get out of talking to me!! Ha! But they all eventually end up hanging up anyway. This happens a good 3 or 4 times a day.
Back to my story. So the lady says "I just missed a call from this number." Already this is different from my normal call backs! I said, yes that I was looking for a Danny Roberts. She said he was not there, and I thanked her and said I would try another time.
Pause, she didnt answer back, and after a few seconds I was almost ready to hang up when she said "Um, excuse me, this is his WIFE!"
Wow. My first thought was "poor him," but instead I replied with "Well, this is Ann from Brown Mackie College and he had requested some information from us so I was calling to see how I could help" using my best fake nice voice.
She contemplated this, realized she had been a giant douche bag, and laughed and told me that I must be looking for Danny Jr, that is her son. Danny Sr is her husband and they are separated.
She thought I was some skank calling her cell phone looking for her husband!! It was all I could do to not laugh as I told her she could have Danny Jr call me if he wanted information on Brown Mackie. She was very nice and thanked me profusely.
The moral of this story is that whenever someone is mean to you, dont get mad, just stay cool! They might just be angry because they assume every female, you included, is banging their husband...
I had called an older lead, a guy named Danny. I called the first number he had supplied and left a message for Danny Jr, based on the voice mail. Then I attempted to reach him on the second number but did not leave a message on that one.
A couple of seconds later I get a return call back from that second number. People cant STAND it when you call and don't leave a message, the curiosity just eats and eats at them until they finally call back. It is great because I can see the number they are calling me from so I know who it is. I answer with "Hello, this is Ann" so that they don't know it is Brown Mackie (otherwise it's an immediate hang up.) They stumble, wonder if they know an "Ann" and then answer with "I must have dialed the wrong number." Now this is the fun part, this is when I say, "oh, is this _______?" They are shocked, SHOCKED that I busted them in their lie. See, see I KNOW that they didnt dial the wrong number, they simply returned my call and they are now trying to get out of talking to me!! Ha! But they all eventually end up hanging up anyway. This happens a good 3 or 4 times a day.
Back to my story. So the lady says "I just missed a call from this number." Already this is different from my normal call backs! I said, yes that I was looking for a Danny Roberts. She said he was not there, and I thanked her and said I would try another time.
Pause, she didnt answer back, and after a few seconds I was almost ready to hang up when she said "Um, excuse me, this is his WIFE!"
Wow. My first thought was "poor him," but instead I replied with "Well, this is Ann from Brown Mackie College and he had requested some information from us so I was calling to see how I could help" using my best fake nice voice.
She contemplated this, realized she had been a giant douche bag, and laughed and told me that I must be looking for Danny Jr, that is her son. Danny Sr is her husband and they are separated.
She thought I was some skank calling her cell phone looking for her husband!! It was all I could do to not laugh as I told her she could have Danny Jr call me if he wanted information on Brown Mackie. She was very nice and thanked me profusely.
The moral of this story is that whenever someone is mean to you, dont get mad, just stay cool! They might just be angry because they assume every female, you included, is banging their husband...
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