Religious Uniformity!!

Now, at the end of times, when the government is falling to pieces before our very eyes, buildings and churches are burning in flames and lawlessness has run amok so severely that we aren’t safe from ignored doggie poop in our own neighborhoods, NOW is the time to return to the good old days when religion was in bed with the government….literally.

Christians were persecuted during the Roman Empire, so it is time to get justice!! The tables have been turned and there are too many of us now. This will solve all our moral issues in this country because people who are Christian are automatically moral people! They don’t do things wrong. I mean you would never hear of a priest say, molesting anyone. Or of a conservative Christian cheating on his wife in one of those gay sex scandals, no, no no. It just doesn’t happen my friends.

Uh oh, what happens if Christianity no longer becomes the majority religion in this country? Will I have to worship Buddah or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you ask? Nah, that is the beauty of having government intertwined with religion, we can TELL people to believe what we want them to believe!!

Conversely there are no good people in other religions, they just all bomb stuff with their terror bombs so having a Christian government is certainly the way to go for our country, and well probably every country.

Seems to me that most people will be accepting of this arrangement. So much so that perhaps we should impose our opinions and beliefs on the rest of the world. We will call it the “Great Crusade.” That is “ade” with a long aahh, as in the word façade, so it’s different from that other one, see?

This will allow us to get rid of that pesky gay marriage issue once and for all when the government itself is a Christian one! After all, a same sex marriage and partnership is NOT in God’s plan. God’s plan was to create life and love and then have humans procreate. They would then grow distant enough from God to become sinful. So then the plan was to wipe out all those people with a flood, and again allow humans to procreate, this time to a disturbingly massive number which damages the planet to the point of our own extinction. Then the plan is to take back the rainbow from the gays ( I assume by wiping them all out with another flood on pride day when they are gathered together to fornicate.) Then straight humans can go on overpopulating until I think God will just create another earth! Twin earths, how cool. Gayless twin earths.

The founding fathers meant for this to be a Christian nation with good old Christian values and who are we to challenge that? They were right about every thing, and EVERY thing should be restored in order to save this country from imploding. I mean, who doesn’t miss slavery? Slavery is fun! And I don’t really need to vote, especially when it’s cold and rainy in November. NO fun.

I’m sure everyone will agree on MY denomination, I mean it is the best. If people are pushy about being able to choose a denomination, then perhaps each state could adopt it’s own. I just hope that my group doesn’t end up in Alaska…I hate the cold.