Out

We had a new employee start in my department this week. I like to play a little game with myself whenever new people get hired. It goes something like this: “how long will it take this person to find out I’m gay, will it be awkward and will they care?”

I have had some moments in the past that have been awkward, easy, funny, unique or uneventful. My favorite was when our new manager began work at one of my past jobs. He wanted to meet with each of us to learn about our goals and get to know us individually. He asked the usual questions and when I was talking about my significant other and my upcoming trip, he asked “and how long have you been with him?” I stated that actually “him” was a “her” and his face turned Santa hat red. All he could muster in response was “me too,” Meaning that he, also, was gay and he couldn’t believe that he of all people had made the wrong assumption.

Also it can be fun to watch people hear about it from me, and then try to pretend that they didn’t already hear about it through office gossip. “Oh REALLY, I didn’t know that!!!!!”

The whole reason I got to thinking about this today was due to a revelation I had when new girl “E” was doing some training at my desk this week. We were discussing cooking habits and then my diet came up, E asked if my family ate the same way that I do. I replied that no my girlfriend Cristy is not vegan or vegetarian. E did not bat an eye, didn’t shift uncomfortably in her seat, didn’t even skip a beat in the conversation. She just didn’t even care. No, wait, it’s not that she didn’t care, because she kept asking questions, she just didn’t see anything alarming about my personal life.

This got me thinking about how much I do believe things have changed for the better (Name that Musical!) for gays and lesbians in our country. E and so many other coworkers of mine just move past the information when my partner comes into conversation instead of dousing me with holy water. It’s no different than telling people you have a dog. Someone who is a cat lover might go off on you about why cats are superior to dogs, but it’s highly unlikely!

Through conversations with coworkers as I get to know them better I learn about other gay people in their own lives. These new acquaintances of mine have been come out to by people who are much closer to them than I am or will ever be. Thus sexual orientation is just another factoid about the girl in the cubicle next door.

I agree with GLAAD and the HRC that visibility in the media and our communities is important to gain acceptance for GLBT Americans and causes like Gay Marriage (which as has been pointed out by people more eloquent than myself, to us is just “Marriage,” I don’t have gay lunch or go gay shopping.) However, I also believe that the sometimes difficult task of coming out to loved ones is even more important since our society has reached a point where most people have a close friend or family member who is out. They might even have a whole bunch..gaggle….bushel?? What is the proper name for a grouping of gay people, anyway?

Whenever I get gloomy about the state of the world (Name that Movie!) after reading about Rick Perry or Michelle Bachman and worry about the fact that many people still share their views about homosexuality, that is when I need to remember my own personal interactions with average Americans and their responses to my personal life. And for the most part the responses turn out to be a whole lot of nothing!!