Christmas Gifts

I love how the holidays have changed for me since I was a child. Many people resist change but to me things typically change for the better and while holiday celebrations and the feelings they invoke might have morphed they are no less magical.

No one forgets that restless excitement deep in your heart on Christmas Eve as a child. The anticipation of Santa coming while you sleep was almost too much to bear; I am still not sure how I was able to get myself to sleep. Perhaps sheer exhaustion from all the visions of presents dancing in my head eventually caused me to collapse. But I am confident I was dreaming of that bearded fat man and his sack of fun while I slept. Toys were the name of the game, I didn’t want clothes, shoes or anything but something that was plastic and had a million parts for Dad to put together.

At some point, possibly in the course of a single year the list became all clothes. Nothing but a stack of clothes, crisp and folded and waiting for me to inventory, deciding when and where to wear which.

As a young adult the holiday wish list reads like a bed bath and beyond receipt. Items for the home became the goodies that I couldn’t wait to get my hands on and carefully place around my new condo.

As the years go by and the presents change, their importance seems to diminish exponentially. I remember being young at Munner’s for Thanksgiving and feeling so let down that there were no presents to go along with the big meal and family gathering. “What a tease” I would grumpily decide. Now the excited feeling in my heart is the anticipation of the time spent with my wonderful family. The new additions of Mike, Katie and now our darling Jack have only served to enhance the joy we experience when we gather together. I have visions of smiles, hugs, pajamas, wine, appetizers, peanut butter balls, and a sweet baby’s smile dancing in my head. I can’t wait to be with my family and I dread the weekend ending.

New Years Eve has transformed itself as well. As a child, banging pots and twirling noise makers in the street at midnight seemed so rebellious and exciting! As a teenager and young adult partying and drinking were musts. We would plan and plan the New Years Party only to feel slightly let down that alas, New Years is really just another night out. The bars entice me less now than ever, with their $20 cover charge which gets you a Dixie cup of champagne and four sad balloons falling from the ceiling. Now I am much more content to stay in, stay safe and warm to watch the Holiday Specials and the Ball Drop in New York City.

I know that things will continue to change, they always do. Maybe they will come full circle. Maybe when I am 90 I will think it is wonderfully exciting that I am able to stay up until midnight and have someone wheel me out in the streets to bang pots and pans together celebrating the events of a year in my life. Only time will tell, but I know that time is precious and spending it with my family is the best gift I can give myself during the holidays and throughout the year.

Happy Holidays, Everyone!!!