Don’t Say Gay

According to many organizations’ Firewalls “Gay” is a bad word, in that you can not search for phrases with the word gay lest you set off the firewall security blocker. (This happened to me recently when I searched for Gay Pride in order to find out how to get my employer a publicity booth on the day of the parade.) But now apparently Gay is also a naughty word in Tennessee, as they are working on legislation barring schools from discussing gay historical figures or implying that gay people exist.

One of the biggest arguments against children knowing that gay is a thing (not an insult used to make fun of something that is effeminate or silly) is that children do not know what sex is so they shouldn’t be exposed to the concept of gayness. This argument was used by a “Concerned Women’s Group” against the widely popular use of the “It Gets Better” Campaign and its commercials during prime time television.

I agree that children should not be told about sex until they are mature enough to understand it fully and take on the responsibility that comes with that knowledge. However does that prevent us from allowing them to see heterosexual couples together holding hands? Does it prevent them from being shown straight couples kiss on TV, or from knowing that their parents are a couple? Of course not.

The first thing that people think of when they see a heterosexual couple is usually not sex. However gay people don’t typically have that luxury. Many people, upon seeing a homosexual couple, automatically start thinking about what that couple does in the sack. Like that quote from Philadelphia, Denzel’s character says “That is what this is about, that is what we are all thinking about here, who does what to whom and how they do it.” So in my mind people who assume that kids will equate gayness with sex are simply putting their own judgments onto those children. Children’s awareness of gay people does not mean that they have to know what happens between those people in the bedroom. Sex is a small part of every gay person’s life, not the thing that defines us as who we are.

People will continue to try to wrap their prejudices up and pretend they are something else, but I and many others like me will continue to unwrap those prejudices and show them for what they are.

GAY, GAY, GAY, there I said it, and next time I drive through Tennessee on my way to Florida I am going to make my car into a giant sign that says “Gay, It’s a real thing.”