Stages of Working Out

The stages of working out:

1. I feel disgusting, I think my blood pressure probably sucks, MUST start working out this very day. If I put it off one more day by making excuses then I no longer qualify as a person with ANY single bit of will power.

2. Join the gym....again. Feel regular gym goers snickering from their machines and wonder what the gym workers are saying behind my fat back. Pay application fee, credit card run fee, restart fee, activation fee and a fee for that watery stuff you spray the machines with.

3. Work out. AAAAHHHHhhhh! I love working out! Working out is the best of all the bestest things I can do! I feel so great afterwards and I have so much motivation!! Why don’t I work out all the time? I feel like a Greek god on steroids who drank five Red Bulls and knows how to fly!!

4. Two weeks into consistently working out. Start to be judgmental towards the people in the Taco Bell drive through as I wiz past them still sweaty from my awesome work out. Have lots more energy so I probably bounce when I walk (is that annoying?)

5. Stage 5 – start to hate the smell of the gym and the people who look way better than me in their workout clothes. Begin forcing myself through the motions and skipping some of the weight machines. See repeats of movies in the workout theater room and curse the club for playing the same movie more than one time.

6. Stage 6 – here come the excuses. I can’t go to the gym tonight because I had such a crappy work day that I know I wont be motivated. Will go tomorrow. Tonight I am going to find someone to go out and have drinks with who I haven’t seen in a while - PERFECT excuse…that person missed me horribly. My toe hurts so I can’t go to the gym. Glee is on tonight (DVR’ed) but still…can’t go. Post on Facebook – does ANYONE want to go get drinks tonight??!!!! Yay, someone does and I don’t have to go to the gym!!!! You see where this goes.

7. This is the beginning of the end of the gym going – I am starting to feel guilty for paying for the gym because my butt never ever goes there. I am not even quite sure how to get there and forget I belong until I see the money come out of my checking account.

Back to stage 1 – I feel disgusting.

I must find a way to break this cycle. I am currently verging on stage 6 and DO NOT want to get there so I need suggestions. I have a very personal reason for being motivated and that is keeping the Stage 6 excuses out of my subconscious, but I can feel them sitting there like little nasty, fat, lazy, taco bell eating monsters, just waiting for a moment of weakness. So any additional advice is appreciated!!!